Change is good..

So, Today I talked to Kiara and had a really lengthy conversation. I told her I can’t trust her; not even as a friend. I told her how I felt like I was the one getting hurt and by keeping connections with her it just made it worse. If she really cared for me she would let me go….Now, after hours of conversation on the subject and an extra $100 dollars on my cell phone bill for international charges, I am ready for change. However, I still have things to be done. I have to go get the rest of my stuff from her storage unit and pay for the next two months….Then, joy oh joy, her girlfriend will be here to get the card and key while home on leave from Afghanistan…We will call her Feo because that is Spanish for ugly. And even though that is very immature, it is my blog and  I think I have earned that right….

I also think Feo is behind the scheme of breaking apart mine and Kiara’s friendship. I think even if she tells Kiara she is ok with it, she isn’t. And I don’ t blame her for not being ok with it. If I was with a girl I wouldn’t want her talking and having a friendship with the person she loves and still deeply has feelings for…But, I do think you could handle it better.

I think she knew I would talk to my ‘friend’ over there; Brad is what we will call him. So, I think she told him things knowing I would be told them too. Things to piss me off and make me not want anything else to do with Kiara. I think shit happened the way it did because she wanted it to. So, you are probably asking, why, if I know all this, don’t I just piss her off and stay friends with Kiara? Well, three reasons, 1) I am not positive she did all this, I think she did but I can’t prove it and if she didn’t and everything Brad told me is true I need to move on. 2) I am just getting hurt sticking around and not being fair to myself and eventually when I find someone I want a relationship with; it wouldn’t be fair to them for me to still be caught up in Kiara. 3) It is best for Kiara too, if she wants to be happy she needs to move on from me and this is the easiest way to do that…

Maybe things will start falling more into place…All I know is I am going to have a busy day tomorrow…

-xx