Wednesday, December 30, 2009

EQCA announces Jim Nickoff internship

Equality California is seeking an intern for summer 2010, to be located in Sacramento.

The Jim Nickoff Internship was founded in 2007 as an annual program to provide LGBT, questioning and allied youth an opportunity to connect with the community and gain hands-on experience in LGBT rights advocacy. This part-time Summer internship will be based in Sacramento, California under the direction of the Government Affairs Director. The intern will have opportunities to help develop legislation, meet with legislators, attend legislative sessions and hearings, and assist with communications and press conferences around developments in the state capitol. The internship is open only to high school students. We welcome applicants from across the state. The position will be paid with a stipend.

Visit www.eqca.org on the JOBS page for more information on the internship and how to apply

[Via http://queerbakersfield.com]

Lady Penelope

SLEEK VIBRO TOUCH VIBRATOR Lustrous. Elegant. Enriching. Lady Penelope is indeed a gem.Designed to deliver pleasure on a multitude of sensory interactions.The slender shape and contoured lines handle delicately for heightened sensation. Explore the stimulating rhythms to suit your mood. Features: – Height: 9 / 225mm – Iplay tips; for getting the most out of the experience – Multi function with 10 different speeds and rhythms – Nodular g-spot arouser head – Shaped for multi-experience use – Series of specially designed soft touch nodules for extra stimulation – Waterproof – 100% soft silicone material – Body safe, Phthalates free

[Via http://playfultoysonline.wordpress.com]

Honey Baby

DISCREET PETITE VIBRATOR Sleek and feminine. Silent and sweet. Discover the hidden charms of the Honey Baby. Discreet contoured nodules to leave no place untouched. With a powerful buzz and varied rhythms the Honey Baby has more to offer than first meets the eye. A go anywhere good time vibe. Features: – Height 7 / 180mm – Iplay tips – Multi function with 10 different speeds and rhythms – Shaped for multi-experience use – Series of specially designed soft touch nodules for extra stimulation – Waterproof – 100% soft silicone material – Body safe, Phthalates free

[Via http://playfultoysonline.wordpress.com]

EQCA announces Jim Nickoff Internship

Equality California is seeking an intern for summer 2010, to be located in Sacramento.

The Jim Nickoff Internship was founded in 2007 as an annual program to provide LGBT, questioning and allied youth an opportunity to connect with the community and gain hands-on experience in LGBT rights advocacy. This part-time Summer internship will be based in Sacramento, California under the direction of the Government Affairs Director. The intern will have opportunities to help develop legislation, meet with legislators, attend legislative sessions and hearings, and assist with communications and press conferences around developments in the state capitol. The internship is open only to high school students. We welcome applicants from across the state. The position will be paid with a stipend.

Visit www.eqca.org/nickhoff for more information on the internship and how to apply

[Via http://queervisalia.com]

Slenders Wonder - Purple

The sleek and streamlined Slender Edition is the perfect blend of subtle, understated design and maximum sensory satisfaction. Slim, sophisticated and waterproof, the Slender`s sexy, ergonomic shape exhilarates, while its powerful, yet whisper-quiet, three-speed motor ensures a mind altering experience. 3 stimulating speeds easy push button controls phthalate-free and body-safe satin-smooth coated controls hygienic medical-grade TPR shower and bath-friendly jelly like material flexes and conforms ultra-powerful motor soothes and seduces maximum intensity with minimum noise

[Via http://playfultoysonline.wordpress.com]

Petite Couture Enchanted

Powerful, compact and discreetly sized. Soft, pliable, flexible, seamless, and unscented. 7 functions of vibration, pulsation, and escalation. Feather touch controller with luminous light. Automatic on/off button. Medical grade Japanese Silicone. Requires 2 AAA batteries.

[Via http://playfultoysonline.wordpress.com]

The Start! Project 1

Project 1 – It’s nearly New Year’s and I’ll be spending most of the weekend with friends watching college football. Lots of college football. And any armchair quarterback knows that the only thing better than watching football is watching football while grubbing on lots of tasty food. My best friend is pregnant, and doesn’t love football, but she’s being a good sport because she loves her wife. And for that, she got her choice of desserts: brownies, rice krispy treats, or cupcakes. She chose cupcakes.     

Which leads us to this moment, where I find myself writing this first blog entry, and flipping between recipe pages and pictures of cutesy tasty cupcakes. I’m looking to do a few flavors without making a huge gang of cupcakes, so I’m looking at some small batch recipes (what a fantastic idea!). I’ll pick two or three flavors, yellow cake for me, chocolate for bff, and a third, yet to be determined. I’m not going cutesy, that’s not me, and certainly not right for a lesbian football weekend (not these lesbians anyways). But I am going for rich, moist, from scratch cupcakes to wow the crowd. Recipe finding and shopping today, baking commences tomorrow, pics to follow. Wish me luck!    

Cliché dyke moment – Bowl game picks/observations:   

1.  The coporate bowl names are getting a little silly – ex: Michigan State University (my alma mater, GO GREEN!!) is playing in the Valero Alamo Bowl….what does that mean?? Michigan State over Texas Tech (with or without Mike Leach).   

2.  I’m excited to see the Oregon Ducks play in the Rose Bowl, even if it is against sucky Ohio State. Oregon over OSU.   

3.  Penn State/LSU should be a good one, who doesn’t love Joe Pa?? Gotta go Penn State over LSU.   

4.  Iowa over Georgia Tech, for mom’s alma mater.   

5. National Championship…Texas vs. Alabama…not a fan of Nick Saban, but I do like ‘Bama. Yeah, Alabama over Texas.

[Via http://dykegoesdomestic.wordpress.com]

Mommie Queerest

A play about Joan Crawford, not it’s the Judy Show envisioned by comedienne Judy Gold. Washington DC’s Jewish Community Center continues to use theater to push all kinds of boundaries.

Last year’s reading of Carol Churchill’s Seven Jewish Children drew protesters to the front doors. Others threatened to end their subscriptions to the theater. Here’s one opinion on the controversial issue.

This season features a Jewish Lesbian Mother. The riotous show includes some loud and inspired in not on key singing accompanied by Gold on piano. She launches into stories about her family, schooling, career, the media, television shows, and television executives.

Gold’s bio-performance art piece will not spark the same reaction. It’s challenges on the issue of gay marriage are everywhere as the battle wages in state referendums. The show’s conclusion about representation are also well versed. Go for the laughs. You don’t have to be Jewish or lesbian or both but it helps.

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[Via http://bla2222.wordpress.com]

Why I hate feminism:

Have you ever been around a group of feminists? Unfortunately, I on occasion have been. Believe me, I would much rather awake with my head sown to the carpet then to have to endure the mental agony associated with being in their company. Did you ever notice that when they correspond with one and other. Be it in written or verbal form. They always qualify their communication with phrases like, “these wonderful ladies”. Or, “wonderful, fabulous people”. I mean really if you have to constantly “qualify” that you are good people, then maybe someone (God) is testifying to your subconscious that you ladies are not, “good people”. Hint..hint…   Alright, why do I hate feminism? Its like this, I hate feminism because I love women, and feminism hurts women.   I’ve done some observing of those who are at the fore front this movement. Now not all those who have ever taken a women studies class, or believe in concepts like equal pay for equal work are truly feminists. True feminists seek emancipation…..emancipation from so many things they deem as sexist, to include but not limited to the burden of motherhood. These are the ones who will tolerate everything but intolerance of their tolerance. Get that…there is no middle ground or compromise here. Feminists seek freedom…but the end result of their doctrine is bondage.   It says in the Bible, as a tree leans there is where it will fall. In other words, don’t walk down this path, it will take you far from where you want to be. If you’re one who is attracted to feminism as a lifestyle, resist. Have repentance toward God, and put your faith in Jesus Christ. This is what will make you whole, in fact it can restore your womanhood. A belief in Christ will set you free…..   Ok, here are some background qualifiers or personality traits of those susceptible to, or involved in this dangerous movement:   1) Been abused or neglected as a child.   2) Been sexually assaulted.   3) Remains bitter.   4) Has never had a normal relationship with father.   5) Cannot relate to men.   6) Seeking empowerment and forced acceptance.   7) Seeking a man’s role.    8) Hardened unforgiving heart.   9) A feeling that they can’t be forgiven for what they have done.   10) Unbelief in God and a rejection of Christ.   What pains me to the core is that so many young women enter collage and are befriended by feminist educators who indoctrinate them into this philosophy. The feminist educators are usually readily identifiable as being big boned, short haired, loud mouths. They are the ones with the least amount of womanhood and culture.   These feminist self styled “change-agents” teach our girls to hate all that they should be, as well as the traditional family structure, that would provide a platform of love and care for them. Yeah, feminists are deserving of a very strong rebuke indeed.   In closing feminism places OUR GIRLS into bondage…..   That’s is why I hate feminism……..

[Via http://romans13resist.wordpress.com]

I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey Everybody….After a prolonged absence from the blogosphere, I’m pleased to announce I’m back and ready to make 2010 a banner year for MsQueer.com

A heart-felt THANKS to my dear friend from our old OurChart/TeeLu family who helped me get the computer needed for staying on the net. My deepest appreciation, Sis!

Love to all. MsQueer.

©2009 MsQueer.com. All rights reserved.

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[Via http://msqueer.wordpress.com]

and..

it’s not that 2009 was bad – far from it – but a shitload of it has been freaking tough.  really tough … like suddenly i feel i have fuckall family left and i had only just got some, or reclaimed some … but ja, that’s the way it goes, i guess.  but this is also the year i met her and for most of this year we’ve been battling and relishing all the things that should have been keeping us well apart and all of the things that have glued us together.  it feels solid.  still fucking hard, but seriously solid.  the whole thing’s already transformed her family, maybe more than she knows or wants, i dunno … and perhaps it’s doing the same to mine on a slower sort of a trajectory.  i don’t fucking know man.

this morning i almost flipped completely in a cafe in g-town – so humiliating, though i think only she noticed and she, thank fuck, is freaking angelic about shit like that, even while it’s hurting the hell out of us both.  and then all the way home we were both sore and really, the whole root of that is the fact that we aren’t together enough.  three beautiful days and nights – still not enough.  spoiled brats?  like she said though, we both waited a long time for each other, actually.  fuckitttt i miss the women so hard.

i get sick of being careful, i get sick of waiting.  i get sick of having to pander to shit fucking stupid crap societal homophobia.  struggling with loving and hating humanity – like humanity gives a shit …

[Via http://builtinobsolescence.wordpress.com]

The More Things Change...

This article over on the New York Times makes me chuckle.

Point of amusement #1: The Headline. “Media Outlets Prepare to Charge for Content Online”. No offense NYT, but media outlets have been talking about charging for content for years now. The problem: charging for information on the internet is like trying sell oxygen to a greenhouse. Anything media outlets could charge for today was probably available yesterday for free. Yet as much as they try to crack down on that sorta thing with DRM and DMCA takedown notices and over the top lawsuits it never seems to actually cut down on “piracy”.

Point of amusement #2: This quote at the end.

“One of the problems is newspapers fired so many journalists and turned them loose to start so many blogs,” Mr. Mutter said. “They should have executed them. They wouldn’t have had competition. But they foolishly let them out alive.”

[Via http://queeroakland.com]

in other news, i've officially turned into my grandmother

b/c i drank coffee with dinner tonight. with dinner, not after. with italian food, no less. manicotti! salad?! garlic bread?? only old jewish ladies that apply ruby red revlon lipstick right before they hit the local diner drink coffee with dinner! and now i’m one of them, omg.

i do have an excuse, i feel like. we are snowed in in western pee-ay. and it. is so. COLD here. like, stupid cold! we came back to holly’s hometown for the holiday and have not been able to leave for baltimore b/c  it has been snowing (and snowing) and the roads have been crap and i have been chilled to the bone for days. today i hit my breaking point and i was like: coffee please. here, set it right down beside the manicotti and penne and garden salad and keep it coming.

it’s so funny b/c it was only a couple years ago that it suddenly dawned on me–as i was passing a giant group of white-haired ladies in hats and lipstick (some w/walkers, others with canes…cuuuute!) all lunching at this fancy greenspring bakery in baltimore, i forget the name of it–that really and truly, the only ppl i’ve ever seen order coffee with say, sandwiches. and salads. are (besides my art professor mom who always orders black decaf with everything) women of a certain era, if you will. basically my late grandmother  (who went to “the beauty shop” every week and wore great hats and also lots of red/coral revlon lipstick; the old school kind in the green tube). these ladies at the bakery were going to give the dishwashers a real run for their money, too. tons of lipstick around the rim. adorable.

anyway, i drank it fast and piping hot just like grandma did. like it kind of burned my esophagus but it felt goooood after being so damn cold. holly was feeling a similar way across the table from me except it was with beer. which she has needed. like i needed the caffeine. and the near-burning heat. the holidays can do that to you. is all i’m saying.

ok, so there’s that. now to the elephant in the room: you’re probably wondering what in the hell happened to me over the past month b/c i essentially disappeared. i’ll tell you: i needed a break.

november–with the death smell and sadness/horror and the moving out and the laundering and everything else–just drained me. it drained me and left me pretty much a wet noodle. at least in my brain. everything we had to do around the house [we had to hire people to finish our moulding, caulk absolutely *everything*, every little hole, seal our exposed brick, steam clean all of our furniture and our carpets and wash every single fabric item in our entire house. (why all of this has to happen after two household layoffs is beyond me but i guess that's murphy's law for ya)]. it was all consuming. and every time i felt like i might sit down to blog, i was going to blog about “it.” and i just couldn’t do that anymore. i mean, how much do readers really want to read about that?? i think we all reached our saturation point. i know i did. plus i just haven’t been feeling funny. i mean, i always joke around but not funny enough to sit down and write. not that i have to be funny all the time b/c you know i just love to tug at the ol’ heart strings now and then. but my general joie de vivre, if you will, i think it’s coming back. finally. so here i am.

random thoughts for the day:

1. have  you ever  noticed that with the exception of really really fancy hotels, the “facial soap” they give you in hotels is essentially the shower/bath soap but just a smaller size?  you kind of expect it to be, like, especially for the skin on your face and it’s not!!! i am mentioning this b/c we stayed in a hotel last night (long story) and i was thinking about it this morning. hotel soap usually sucks anyway. it sucks doubly for your face. don’t call it facial soap, folks. false advertising. it’s micro-mini body soap and that’s all there is to it.

2. one of the many reasons i love holly is that she’s really low-maintenance in terms of “girl” stuff. (i, on the other hand, am high- maintenance; oh you didn’t guess?? ha) for example, this morning i saw that the hotel only gave us two bath towels. i have long hair that’s thick and i always use one towel for my hair (a towel turban; i excel at making these) and wrap one around the rest of me. holly is so great b/c she’ll always take the hand-me-down towel that i used for my hair. it’s always pretty damp but she doesn’t care and never complains. i know, right? it’s the little things. ladies, i know ya feel me.

3. i’m really excited about the new year. 2009 was sh*t. 2008 kind of sucked, too. but i think this year is gonna be our year. it’s a brand new decade! i’m launching my own writing business (website to come!!!). i’m about to start pitching literary agents. holly’s going to finish school this year. two of my oldest, closest friends are tying the knot. oh and to kick things off, my great uncle ben–one of my aforementioned late grandma’s baby brothers; the very last one of her brothers (she had four)–is taking us ON A CRUISE next month! to the bahamas! this is going to be OUR VERY FIRST OFFICIAL VACATION IN OUR ALMOST NINE YEARS TOGETHER. he’s paying for us to take the amtrak autotrain down, even! (holly’s not too keen on flying and i don’t blame her; plus this way we’ll have our car w/us all around miami cause you know we’re gonna be whoopin it up w/uncle ben and i am not kidding! he is kind of a party guy. oh and did i mention he’s 88?!!! 88! he still swims and cooks and is basically adorable and awesome and the male version of my grandma that i miss like crazy.) as my teeth chatter here in pee-ay, i just keep thinking: FLORIDA! BAHAMAS! i’m gonna be one of those b*tches who has a REAL TAN in the winter! ha!

so bring on 2010, baby! if you’re excited about anything–c’mon, you know you are–tell me. resolutions count, too. ttys! xo!

[Via http://lunchat1130.wordpress.com]

Another country of firsts: Argentina's first same-sex marriage

Argentina First Gay Marriage (Photo-Tierra del Fuego/Reuters)

Argentina First Gay Marriage (Photo-Tierra del Fuego/Reuters)

After a months-long legal battle, two gay men in Argentina became the first homosexuals to marry in Latin America, in a wedding that took place in the southernmost province, Tierra del Fuego, the only one governed by a woman.

“We’re the first, but we won’t be the last,” said Alex Freyre, who married José Maria Di Bello Monday in Ushuaia, capital of Tierra del Fuego, more than 3,000 km south of Buenos Aires. “There are hundreds of legal appeals that we hope will have the same outcome,” he said.

Same-sex marriage is legal in Belgium, Canada, the Netherlands, Norway, South Africa, Spain, Sweden with the US lagging behind with same sex marriage only being legal in Vermont, Massachusetts, Iowa, Connecticut & Washington DC & New Hampshire. (Did you know there are 40 US states with laws on the books stating that marriage is between a man and women)? In spite of these positive developments, this Argentina marriage represents the first gay marriage in Latin America.

Earlier this month, the Mexico City legislative assembly approved changes to the local civil code, replacing the clause that defines marriage as the union between a man and a woman with one that says it is a union “between two people.” But actual weddings will not start taking place until the reform goes into effect next year. For a highly catholic country, this is an amazing development.

Freyre and Di Bello’s wedding was held without any previous announcement in Ushuaia, after their first attempt in Buenos Aires fell through on Dec. 1. In April, the couple, who belong to the Argentine Federation of Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Trans (LGBT), had been denied a marriage license in Buenos Aires. Along with other members of the Federation whose applications for a license had been denied, they filed an appeal. In November, Buenos Aires Judge Gabriela Seijas ruled in the case that the civil code’s ban on gay marriage was unconstitutional, and ordered that the two men be granted a marriage license. The Buenos Aires government did not appeal the decision.

However, another court filed an injunction on the eve of the wedding that blocked it from taking place in Buenos Aires. A final decision is pending in the Supreme Court. But Freyre and Di Bello were determined to get married this year. Aware that Tierra del Fuego Governor Fabiana Ríos had backed different initiatives in favour of same-sex marriage, they applied for a marriage license in that province, which was also denied. But when they complained to higher-ranking authorities, the governor intervened, ordering that the initial Buenos Aires court ruling be honoured and that they be allowed to marry in the civil registry office. “I didn’t do anything extraordinary. I merely complied with the law; the right of two people who had a ruling in their favour could not be denied,” said Ríos.

The campaign for “the same rights with the same names” was launched by the LGBT Argentine Federation before Freyre and Di Bello appealed to the courts. But since Seijas ruled in their favour, the movement has gathered momentum and more than 30 appeals have been filed around the country.

According to a survey by the pollster Analogías, 66 percent of respondents were in favour of legalising same-sex marriage, while 57 percent of those who defined themselves as Catholics rejected the Catholic Church stance against marriage between homosexuals.

I think this is great for Latin America and for Argentina and continues to show how the US is really behind the times when it comes to granting basic civil rights to all.

Thomas (Timeline information provided by IPS Reporter Marcela Valente)

[Via http://planetqtv.wordpress.com]

Uganda prepares for latest crisis: Gaybola

KAMPALA, UGANDA— The small East African nation of Uganda has certainly seen its share of hardships in recent history. From Idi Amin’s dictatorship in the 1970s to the armies of prepubescent abductee soldiers today, but nothing could have prepared the country for its most recent catastrophe: Gaybola.

Reported cases of the virus have been on the rise in Uganda since the country’s political and economic climates unfortunately began to stabilize in the 1990s. Areas with a high concentration of the virus are typically marked by an alarming rise in property values. The incubation period can vary drastically, affecting some as early as Primary School while sometimes not visible in others until retirement age. Individuals infected with the Gaybola virus are often clearly identifiable by an interest in fusion cuisine and promoting organically grown fair trade coffee.

In 2004, Uganda experienced an outbreak in the capital city of Kampala with a terrifying 12% increase in the arts, and fears of yet another viral outbreak have prompted many Ugandan lawmakers to support the controversial new Anti-Homosexuality Bill, which, if passed, would further criminalize the infection. While the proposed legislation has been met with much condemnation by the international community, proponents such as former Rick Warren affiliate Pastor Martin Ssempa of Uganda, as well as American evangelical and family group leaders like Don Schmierer of Exodus International and Scott Lively of Abiding Truth Ministries argue that failing to enact the bill could result in a Gaybola pandemic.

Mr. Lively, author of the book Seven Steps to Recruit­Proof your Child: A Parent’s Guide to Protecting Children from Homosexuality and the “Gay” Movement, strongly cautions parents in Uganda against the consumption of gay bush meat, as it remains a primary means of transmitting the Gaybola virus.

“Ugandans know well that we rarely have the good fortune of others,” said Member of Parliament David Bahati, who introduced the bill. “Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmedinejad says Iran does not have any cases of the Gaybola virus.”

In extreme cases, the bill would call for the execution of individuals infected with Gaybola, but even some of its staunchest supporters, like Pastor Ssempa, would like to see more compassion on the State’s part. “In delicate matters like genocide, it becomes increasingly imperative to look inward ask oneself what Our Lord Jesus Christ would do. By taking advantage of our rail network, for example, we could collect and contain these individuals into groups, or camps, thereby avoiding the ugly topic of mass extermination.” Mr. Ssempa then added, “I’m sure through exposure to Scripture and the strategic placement of positive slogans like Work Makes Free, I’m confident a large percentage of these individuals can even be rehabilitated.”

While the international community continues to denounce the proposed bill, the Ugandan government says the matter is an internal one.

Only time will tell the outcome of this chapter in the small nation’s history, as both proponents and opponents alike wait with bated breath to learn if they will ever enjoy organically grown fair trade coffee again.

[Via http://cmreport.wordpress.com]

Monday, December 28, 2009

Huge Music Video Collection[Update Daily]

http://rapidshare.com/files/314930309/30_Seconds_To_Mars_-_Kings_And_Queens.mpg

http://rapidshare.com/files/326776120/4.music.4.play.pendulum.ws.pdtv.xvid-ftp.avi

http://rapidshare.com/files/326771945/addictive_feat_t2-gonna_be_mine-x264-2007-se.mkv

http://rapidshare.com/files/326774391/alan_master_t-people_hold_on-x264-2007-se.mkv

http://rapidshare.com/files/326772806/alex_c_feat_yass-doktorspiele__at_apres_ski_hits_2008_-xvid-de-2008-pmv.avi

http://rapidshare.com/files/326776105/alex_c_feat_yass-du_hast_den_schoensten_arsch_der_welt__at_apres_ski_hits_2008_-xvid-de-2008-pmv.avi

http://rapidshare.com/files/326766273/Alibi_vs_Rockefeller_-_Sexual_Healing.divx

http://rapidshare.com/files/326779158/all_india_radio-persist-x264-2008-fray.mkv

http://rapidshare.com/files/326772329/alphabeat-boyfriend__wawa_remix_-dvdrip-x264-2008-mv4u.mkv

http://rapidshare.com/files/326768140/atb_with_heather_nova-renegade-xvid-2007-pmv.avi

http://rapidshare.com/files/326770049/atb-what_about_us-dvdrip-x264-2009-se.mkv

http://rapidshare.com/files/326779625/audio_bullys-gimme_that_punk-dvdrip-x264-2008-mv4u.mkv

http://rapidshare.com/files/326919834/avril-the_date-dvdrip-x264-2003-gml.mkv

http://rapidshare.com/files/326777529/axwell_and_bob_sinclar_ft_ron_caroll-what_a_wonderful_world-x264-2008-se.mkv

http://rapidshare.com/files/326923668/bart_claessen-catch_me-x264-2008-se.mkv

http://rapidshare.com/files/326923716/basement_jaxx-raindrops-dvdrip-x264-2009-mvhits.mkv

http://rapidshare.com/files/326925128/basshunter-all_i_ever_wanted__live_ballermann_hits_2008_-x264-2008-jesters.mkv

http://rapidshare.com/files/326925983/basshunter-angel_in_the_night-dvdrip-x264-2008-mvz.mkv

http://rapidshare.com/files/326923265/basshunter-dota-dvdrip-x264-se-2007-gml.mkv

http://rapidshare.com/files/326882667/basshunter-i_miss_you-dvdrip-x264-2008-mvz.mkv

http://rapidshare.com/files/326876759/basshunter-now_youre_gone-dvdrip-x264-2007-mv4u.mkv

http://rapidshare.com/files/326884764/basshunter-official_megamix-dvdrip-x264-2008-mvz.mkv

http://rapidshare.com/files/326878078/bbe-flash-xvid-1997-mva.avi

http://rapidshare.com/files/326768446/Beatfreakz_-_Somebody_s_Watching_Me.avi

http://rapidshare.com/files/326780120/befour-all_4_one-dvdrip-x264-2007-uva.mkv

http://rapidshare.com/files/326878232/befour-how_do_you_do-dvdrip-x264-2007-uva.mkv

http://rapidshare.com/files/314930212/Billy_Talent_-_Devil_On_My_Shoulder.avi

http://rapidshare.com/files/314930018/Creed_-_Overcome.mpg

http://rapidshare.com/files/326768414/dash_berlin_ft_cerf_mitiska_and_jaren-man_on_the_run-x264-2009-se.mkv

http://rapidshare.com/files/326768173/dj_jean-play_that_beat-x264-2009-se.mkv

http://rapidshare.com/files/326771513/faithless-music_matters-xvid-2007-vfi.avi

http://rapidshare.com/files/326771951/Fedde_Le_Grand_-_Put_Your_Hands_Up_4_Detroit.avi

http://rapidshare.com/files/326748304/Flyleaf-Again.avi

http://rapidshare.com/files/314925930/Foo_Fighters-Wheels.avi

http://rapidshare.com/files/326746051/Green_Day-East_Jesus_Nowhere.mpg

http://rapidshare.com/files/326769011/infected_mushroom_becoming_insane_2007.avi

http://rapidshare.com/files/314926113/Megadeth_-_Headcrusher.avi

http://rapidshare.com/files/326779796/Paul_van_dyk-for_an_angel_2009-dvdrip-x264-2009-mVz.mkv

http://rapidshare.com/files/326769959/richard_durand-into_something-dvdrip-x264-2009-se.mkv

http://rapidshare.com/files/314930590/Saosin_-_Changing.avi

http://rapidshare.com/files/326777621/Sash-official_mash_up_megamix-repack-dvdrip-x264-2008-mVz.mkv

http://rapidshare.com/files/314927073/Shinedown_-_If_You_Only_Knew.avi

http://rapidshare.com/files/326767982/the_prodigy-warriors_dance-x264-2009-mv4u.mkv

http://rapidshare.com/files/314930511/Three_Days_Grace_-_Break.mpg

http://rapidshare.com/files/326769525/tiga-shoes-x264-2009-mv4u.mkv

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[Via http://sexyadultvideo.wordpress.com]

Personal Style Starts With Personal Scent

As I was lotioning, spritzing and what not this morning I got thinking about what they way you smell says about who you are. Scent is a part of your personal style and in some cases it is the starting point. Some of us, especially those with split personalities like myself may not have just one signature scent, but having atleast one is important. I myself stagger between about 80% of the time in Vera Wang Princess, and 20& of the time in Armani Mania, when push comes to shove and i’m low on cash and out of perfume I will give in and dip into Armani Diamonds but since its not my fave its more of an emergency scent. 

It is important when finding your signature scent to not only find a scent that you think smells great and that you are accustomed to by to also find a scent that plays off your personality, style, passions and traits. Scent is one of the greates senses to create memory and you want your signature scent to not only show people how great you smell but to help them remember you for being uplifting, calming, sensual, classy or simply you!

For  me Vera Wang Princess is my signature scent, sure I play around a bit every now and then but I’ve been wearing Vera for a couple years now and couldn’t live without it . I don’t like my perfumes to flowery, or too musky so this is a perfect note for me. It is a delicate scent with a classy and sophisicated feel too it, it is femmine like I am but a dressed up feminine. Sometimes a scent that is too flowery or fruity makes me think of a little girl playing dress up but Vera Wang Princess has the right amount of feminie quality with just a hint of a musk to make me feel like a grown woman who know how to dress, look put together no matter what and can always rock some heels and a strand of pearls.

Now lets say you are a sporty girl a bit of tomboy maybe or, maybe just a no frills chick, your signature scent might just be something clean and fresh, almost like a clean laundry scent or a sunkissed simplicity. Perfumes that might rock your socks would be Philosophy’s Amazing Grace, Marc Jacobs Amber, or Blanche by Byredo.

Going for and uber femme floral scent? Something elegant and all girl? Your might want to try Ralph by Ralph Lauren, or Beautiful By Estee Lauder. If you want to consider something a bit more modern Lovely By Sarah Jessica Parker is also a great floral scent with just a hint of musk that is pefect for the Modern Woman just like SJP.

If you are looking for more of a sensual passionate scent you will want something a little more musky. A signature scent for you is something that demands attention and that seducts your admirers. Scents like Prada by Prada or Emporio Armani Night for Her and my personal favorite when I’m trying to catch me a sexy dyke Armani Mania.

Now since this is a sometimes lesbian blog I can’t touch on the subject of signature scents without talking a bit about cologne’s for our dykey counterparts (men this is also a good lesson for you on smelling SEXY). We call this boy spray in our house and while a signature scent may not be as imparitive you do still need to give picking the right smell for you some thought. Nightrider wears Armani Code when shes feeling fancy but for the most part sticks with a clean and inexpensive spray like the original Axe scent. She also wears Clinique Happpy For Men from time to time but mostly just to appease me, it is a tad to citrisy and femmie for her.  is also a great scent for any man that is loved by most of the women I know.

So now go dab on some of that favorite scent, help make yourself memorable to the nostrils you come in contact with and if you havent nailed down the perfect scent for you keep testing, its worth it when you find your signature!

[Via http://mylipstickonhercollar.com]

All About New Year's Eve

Here’s a chat I had with Tom Kelly published in The SF Bay Times on December 24th, 2009. Hope you can all come to my NYE show if you’re in town. It’s always a good time.For Tickets go to http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/86090

What better way to ring in the New Year than with laughter? And there aren’t many people on the planet who are wittier than SF’s favorite funny lady Marga Gomez. Named “Best Comedian 2009” in the SF Bay Guardian readers poll, she has appeared on stage, film and television. For a great time… go see Marga at The Marga Gomez New Year’s Eve Spectacular.

(Bay Times) I hear you have a love affair with the City of San Francisco. Care to comment?

(Marga Gomez) I wouldn’t really call it a love affair. I have more of a sexual, torrid crazy apache dance with San Francisco. It’s like that movie Nine and a Half Weeks, and I’m Micky Rourke and San Francisco is Kim Bassinger. I’ve tried leaving San Francisco many times for other cities like New York and LA, but I always come back. Like I always say, “I wish I knew how to quit you.”

Movie references aside, yes, I love San Francisco. It felt like home from the moment I landed on Castro Street as a 19-year-old baby dyke from Manhattan. Everyone was creative here, even the postal workers. I got involved with queer comedy at the Valencia Rose in 1984, and that was it. I found my calling. I wanted to be a famous lesbian comic, so I could meet women.

This is your 6th annual New Year’s event with Theatre Rhinoceros. Why Rhino?

New Year’s Eve is my favorite holiday of the year ever since I was a kid. My parents were performers, and they would come back from their NYE shows with party hats and noisemakers and party favors for me. I dreamed about being a NYE performer, the one at the center of the celebration. It’s always cool to say you have a New Year’s gig when you are a performer. For six years The Rhino has hired me for what is truly a dream NYE gig. I get to perform at The Victoria Theatre, a beautiful former burlesque house, for 500 or more people who are in high spirits but not drunk that I can tell.

I began working with Rhino because I was impressed by their history as the longest running queer theater in America. They have produced three of my shows in the last ten years and have been there for me. I want them to thrive, and these New Year’s Spectaculars help that along. Plus, they have a very sexy audience at these shows, and you know we include NYE countdowns at random just to see our audience kiss.

How will this year’s Spectacular differ from previous ones?

This year will be more spectacular. I will do a completely different hour of comedy than I did last year. But Sarah Palin will still be trashed. Before I take the stage, we will feature not one opening act, but three of the most exciting new gay comics on the scene: local rising sensations Natasha Muse and David Hawkins and – flying in all the way from New York City – ukulele comic Ben Lerman. I can’t wait to hear the audience go nuts for these kids. By popular demand DJ O’DJ will be back spinning live before both shows.

Will there by nudity?

Nudity? Ben Lerman and I are partially nude in some of our publicity shots. If anybody gets naked at the show, I hope it’s our emcee John Fisher, the Artistic Director of Theatre Rhino. I bet he has a nice butt.

Why do you think we should start 2010 laughing?

Because if you start out crying, you’ll ruin your mascara. And 2009 was just ridiculous.

The Marga Gomez New Year’s Eve Spectacular plays Dec. 31 (Thurs 7pm and 9pm) at the Victoria Theatre, 2961 16th Street, San Francisco. For tickets call (800) 838-3006 or at brownpapertickets.com. More info at therhino.org.

[Via http://margagomez.wordpress.com]

Your A What?

Ok, you most likely wonder “What is a Trans-Lesbian?”

A Trans-Lesbian is a woman born with a male body and a female mind who has transitioned, is living full-time female, and is attracted only to other females.

I have been on hormones and living full-time female for the last two years. My spouse and I have been partners for 44 years… Many folks can’t understand our strong attachment and asks why she stays with me but She fully supports my transition and defends me when others criticizes and condemn.

In future posts I will mention some of the struggles and blessing that Trans-Lesbians face every day.  I also hope to express how transitioning has strengthened my faith and has helped me to walk in a closer relationship with Jesus christ

BobbieJane



[Via http://bobbiejane1.wordpress.com]

Friday, December 25, 2009

Economics of a Gay Bar

For some time now I’ve been wondering about how a gay or lesbian bar can work economically. Not that there aren’t enough people out there to go to them and keep them open, but rather at what point is a gay bar able to go from being just a general bar that caters to the homosexual community to one that holds a niche on the market. Now this niche could be anything from being solely a lesbian bar, a leather fetish club, or a bear/cub den.

The consensus, for the most part, is that the homosexual community makes up about 10% of the population, with some people arguing that the number really stretches to about 1/3 of the population. Others of course take issue with this and will deride any such statement – regardless of that debate there are homosexuals out there and they entitled to be just as much as anyone else. But my interest still remains in the operation of bars and their ability to find a niche market.

Now it seems that for the most part bars/clubs/etc fall into only a few categories. Those concerned with food, dancing, drinking or sports – sexual orientation has nothing to do with it. But at the same time there are differences between the them when it comes to sexual orientation and even race or gender; namely who feels comfortable, what’s allowed to happen and who’s allowed in. It is these differences that I think allow for gay bars to specialize to a greater degree than those catering to the heterosexual crowd.

It is my perception that the gay community, and I’m sure people will back me up on this, even if I can’t find the anthropological data to show it for this argument, is more in tune and forward about their preferences when it comes to sex. Whatever the reasoning for this – be it the initial difficulty in finding a partner and thus needing to make it abundantly clear what your likes are, or the idea that through dismissing the norms of a heterosexual lifestyle one might as well dismiss the trappings too, or some other idea.

It is this directness that I believe leads to the rise in bars and clubs that attend to the needs of those portions of the gay community that are so inclined. But, that doesn’t mean every one of them can run on such a business model. There must be a point at which the population size reaches capacity and from there on in a bar can seek a niche rather than generalizing. Yet, what is that point? Is it 5,000 people means that a place can start specializing? Or does 5,000 support a number of bars but they’re all going to generalize?

I don’t know. I just think it’s interesting because I feel, that the specialization that occurs with gay bars may in fact be greater than that of straight bars. Of course, I could be wrong, but I do think that the gay community is right in their directness of seeking what they want from another person. As a whole, the previous statement sounds naive, and I do recognize that individuals are going to vary and that there will most certainly be games played, but that’s human nature for you.

[Via http://overnighthostelities.wordpress.com]

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Wednesday

Kara says:

HELLO!

Amanda says:

What’s up miss?

I hear your getting dumped on…snow wise.

Kara says:

I am sitting watching the snow, listening to bat for lashes and drinking tea.

It may be the perfect day

big fat snowflakes

Amanda says:

Wow.. it would be perfect if you had a pipe and maybe a book of proverbs.

Kara says:

I’ll agree with that.

What are you up to?

Amanda says:

I just officially finished my Christmas shopping. I was an elf for others this year. Karma and such. I’m just catching up on the Prop 8 news.

Kara says:

Right on, what’s the news on prop 8?

Amanda says:

Just that January 11th will be the court date in San Fran.

Kara says:

How do you think thats going to pan out?

Amanda says:

Well I think the trial is about whether or not it should be a vote up to the people or whether marginalized groups should be better protected by the law.

But goddamn you gotta love Hillary Clinton: http://www.examiner.com/x-31406-Hillary-Clinton-Examiner~y2009m12d17-Clinton-calls-gay-rights-the-new-frontier-precedes-WH-statement-opposing-Ugandan-antigay-bill

Kara says:

Hillary is a powerhouse.

I like her pantsuits.

Amanda says:

I think she’s a top.

Definitely throw you around.

Kara says:

Oh God yeah

hahaha

Amanda says:

She’s the person I want with my when my canoe springs a hole

and that’s not code

for anything

Kara says:

hahaha I think she’d know what to do.

What else is good, tell me some happy news

Amanda says:

in gay news or my news?

Kara says:

your news

tell me about your life on the island

I’d like to know when I’m getting a tour of PEI with you.

Amanda says:

it’s so quiet. Very pink sunsets. I saw my elementary school principal in the book store today. It was like a celebrity spotting. She didn’t recognize me.

You should come for NYE here!

Kara says:

AHHH jerk… you are 2 hours late…

I just made plans…. I was holding out and going to take it as it came… now I’m going to the market to be one of 700 drunkards, I don’t have a ticket, just Michael.

What are you up to for new years… what are your plans?

Amanda says:

Well be that way then. I will drink my gin and puke on myself in expensive clothes alone. I don’t need YOU to hold my hair. I know bitches.

Party at the Fox and the Hound’s.

Riddled with Gin.

Kara says:

HAHAHA

I think I would cry if I ever saw you that wasted.

Amanda says:

I’m going to see an old friend tonight who has a baby. My first big lesbo crush.

Kara says:

awe!

cute

Amanda says:

Yeah she’s a great buddy. And her daughter is getting the keyboard duplicate I purchased for the niece.

STORIES?

Kara says:

FUCK!

I still have to get my sister a present

hahaha

Amanda says:

good job asshole.

I had a weird encounter at Zellers today

As you should, I suppose

Kara says:

I love Zellers…

hahaha

What happened… did it involve a woman named Linda?

Amanda says:

While I was routing through the sales bin for a paperback for mama’s stocking, a man approached me and proceeded to try to put my cart on the floor so I could wheel it. I said “thank you very much, I’m well aware that it has wheels, but I don’t want to lug it around like a third leg” to which he responded “I’m just trying to help.” I smiled and picked my basket off the floor and he proceeded to

tell me: “I got fired two weeks before Christmas and just found out my 13 year old son is stealing my condoms. Merry fucking Christmas”

haha

I’m sure he checked out my ass, and I didn’t say anything. I felt like that made up for my refusal to be a damsel in distress.

Kara says:

haha

That’s just too much information…why make everyone around you uncomfortable?

Amanda says:

well…I kind of felt for the guy. If Santa needs to have a spirit meter to get into the clouds, by the judges of the faces around…he’s going to be munching some dirt this year. Ha

Christmas carols open up endless opportunities for dirtiness.

Kara says:

HAHAHA how do you figure?

Amanda says:

I don’t

I’m leaving haha

Kara says:

I need coffee, and a Christmas present for a 5 year old.

stat.

I’m getting drunk and eating my face off tomorrow, if you have spare time feel free to come back to Fredericton and pop by.

[Via http://shebeshe.wordpress.com]

Frenzy for new toys builds at Arkansas Walmart stores: Target left wondering, "Why not here?"

With Christmas just a few hours away, we’re seeing a great frenzy developing at Arkansas Walmart stores, especially in the newly-remodeled Bentonville Walmart and always hectic Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market in Pinnacle Hills.While some of the hottest toys of the season are available at Target, there are a few that the buyers at Target left off the list. We found one hot toy you definitely will not find at Target.Check out the following limited edition toys we wish were available only at selected Walmart stores in Arkansas for a limited time:

Eureka Springs Barbee: This Barbee is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstock with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow or when it’s dinner time. She does not want or need a Kenny Barbee, but if you purchase two Harrison Barbees and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

Eureka Springs II Barbee: This versatile Barbee can be easily converted from Barbee to Kenny by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts. She still wants you to call her when it’s dinner time.

Fayetteville Barbee: Comes with an assortment of second-hand Kate Spade Handbags, a dented Lexus SUV, and a long-haired foreign dog named Honey that humps everything in sight. She lives in a cookie-cutter McMansion with a mortgage that’s so upside down, well, you know. Available with or without the botched tummy tuck, boob job, and face lift. Alcoholic Kenny sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

Fort Smith Barbee: The modern day homemaker Barbee is available with the ten-year-old Ford Windstar mini-van on the verge of being repossessed, plus a matching gym outfit complete with torn armpits to match the torn seats in the van. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

Harrison Barbee: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweedy bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Kenny’s butt when she’s drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Pinnacle Hills Barbee: This yuppie Barbee comes with your choice of last-year’s BMW or Hummer H2. Included are a personalized Starbucks cup good only at the Starbucks that closed last year, a credit card that’s over the limit, and a faux-country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Kenny and Private School Skipper. You can only purchase these at the local bank, because everything was repo’d because daddy was a Northwest Arkansas real estate developer that went bust.

Rogers Barbee: This Barbee is no longer available for political reasons, but can still be found on eBay. Wearing just one shoe, this Barb went broke running a pizza joint in historic downtown Rogers, then got busted for running a Ponzi-scheme, finally committing pretend-suicide by pretending to throw herself off the Beaver Lake Dam.

Springdale Barbee: This Barbee is attired in the traditional chicken-processing job garb, where she chokes Kenny’s little chicken on a daily basis. She comes with a green-card, twelve bambinos, and speaks only Spanish.

SW Little Rock Barbee: This Barbee now comes with a stroller and two in-bred infant Barbee wannabes. Optional accessories include a GED with last year’s maps and an expired bus pass. Gangsta Kenny and his 1971 Caddy were available, but is now very difficult to find since the addition of the mixed-breed infant.

West Memphis Barbee: This recently paroled Barbee comes with a 9mm toy handgun, a fake Ray Lewis knife, and a 64′ Chevy with dark tinted windows. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) …unless you are a cop, then we don’t know what you are talking about.

Pine Bluff Barbee: This Barbee was never available… she got shot before she made it to the list.

Legal Notice: Please do not confuse these toys with products made by other companies, including Barbie (r) which is made by Mattel (r). Our toys should not be confused with any Mattel ™ or Barbie ™ toy, or any other toy on the market. Any resemblance to any toy or person, living or dead, or anything currently available in a Walmart store is a mere coincidence. Parody comparisons are strictly in the eyes of the reader and not intended. No Rights are Reserved.

[Via http://rogersarkansas.wordpress.com]

ii

Too many reflective surfaces on the way in reminded her that she was still showing up in cyberspace as a half-assed attempt at a steampunk Lego figure.  Dragon, lying on a kind of couch thing in her living area, was an idealised version of herself – everything tweaked subtly so she looked taller, thinner, sharper bones and dramatic.  Skin, pretty unconcerned with her image at the best of times, left things as they were and moved towards Dragon, who barely looked up at her approach.

“Dragon,” said Skin and Dragon looked up and shifted to make room for her to sit.  “Yeah, yeah, I know – not good to be online too long and all, but actually, you need to see this,” said Dragon.  “What?” said Skin.  “The news’ll be offline soon enough, it’s smeared all over the net and the web like Marmite.  You know how everybody shat themselves about online data identity theft howevermany years ago … and then they locked up their data or erased it here altogether and then most people went anonymous and IP security started to cost money and then …”  “Yeah, thanks for the history lesson,” said Skin, rolling her eyes, have you forgotten that I am descended from paranoid hackers?”  It was true – Skin’s mother was Nina, sister of the more famous artist, hacker and sellout surrendermonkey, Blue.

“Alright,” said Dragon, “perhaps it’s just a pity you inherited the ripped jeans instead of the DNA genes, if you know what I mean.  Just look!” and she pointed to the opposite wall, which was almost pulsing and heaving with a swirl of shifting data that made less than no sense to Skin at first.  Dragon pointed to the top left quadrant of the grid, “That there,” she said, “is the Waste – the data desert, where unclaimed data goes to die.”  “But it’s full!” exclaimed Skin, “It’s never, ever been full.  It’s never even been populated much – what’s going down?”  “Well, with everyone being so anonymous online, somehow the world forgot that even assumed names are identities.  Check it out, there’s me.”  And there she was; a little moving group of boxes – her District ID and history, all of her musical stuff, pretty much everything.  “So we’re right back to square one?” asked Skin, “Identity theft and paranoia all over again?”  “Nope,” answered Dragon, “It’s like … everyone’s just out there so much in plain sight that nobody gives a fuck about having their name stolen – either you’re strongly enough linked to it that any impostors get flamed right off the net, or you just move on and get a new nick.  All you gotta hide, really, is your bank account.”

“It’s still not a good idea to live online, Dragon.” said Skin.

[Via http://scarthedyke.wordpress.com]

Transgender: An Ally's Perspective

I was talking to someone today and somehow it came up that I knew a lot of transboys.  “They must be confused.” They said.  I furrowed my brows and shook my head, “No, they aren’t confused.  They just have the wrong body.”

I know that people understand male and female.  Everyone is aware of their gender from the moment they can understand anything.  But not everyone understands transgendered.  Transgendered is not confusion or anything like that – in fact it is quite the opposite.  It’s a deep knowing that the gender assigned to their body doesn’t match the gender in their mind.

Some people who are transgendered know from the very beginning that their body doesn’t match what’s inside.  Others, go on quite a journey to figure it out.  It’s probably really hard for most cis-gendered people to imagine what it is like to feel like an alien to your own body.  The closest metaphor I can use to explain the discomfort is it’s like the dream that you’re naked/in your underwear and everyone else is clothed and staring.  It makes you really self aware and very uncomfortable.  It’s like everyone else blends in and fit but you’re the missing a piece to the puzzle.

I feel for my transgendered brothers and sisters.  It’s not easy by any means standing up and saying, “Hey, this body isn’t right for me.”  Nor is it easy to go through the steps to set the body to match the mind.

I don’t know much about the transition process.  It’s a series of surgeries and injections.  It takes it’s toll.  Some transgendered people chose not to transition due to all the risks.  If they can’t “pass” they will be plagued in life being boxed into a box that doesn’t fit.

Every three days in developed countries a transgendered person is murdered.  Also, transgendered people are often left in the dust by gays and lesbians organizations who are trying to assimilate, most notably the HRC.

Not only are they abandoned by their supposed allies, things that people take for granted as being status-quo can be a threat to transgendered individuals safety.  For example, going to the bathroom.  No big deal for your average man or woman – but if you are a man in a woman’s body or a woman in a man’s body, it can be a very dangerous situation.

The point of all this is that transgender people are usually really awesome and don’t deserve such bad treatment by society, gays, and lesbians.  Being transgendered is no more someone’s fault than being left handed.  It’s just how they are made.

[Via http://jessfive.wordpress.com]

The Big "C" and Lesbian Relationships - When and How to Compromise

     What’s a girl to do when the honeymoon is over and that first big challenge in a relationship rears its ugly head. I know compromise is not a four-letter word, but it probably should be. If you don’t learn how to manage the art of compromise, you might as well find a cave to crawl into and give up on any relationship with other human beings. It will save you a lot of heartache to simply admit you are inflexible and unable to bend.

     Granted, it is hard to compromise on certain issues. Many decisions require a yes or no answer and prove cumbersome otherwise. These issues often become deal-breakers in relationships. You either want children, or you don’t. The same is true for pets, a move to Alaska, aging parents moving in and many other situations. There isn’t a lot of obvious middle ground. But if you are committed to making things work for both of you, you can usually find acceptable answers without railroading your partner and forcing them into a corner with nowhere to go but out the door.

     Whatever you do, take your partner seriously. Don’t say one thing and do another. They will notice, you know. As stupid as she can be at times, you must admit that she is basically smart or you would not be with her. Right? So give her the courtesy of being honest. Don’t ignore her feelings and act like you’re going to consider her concerns if, in reality, you aren’t. She will notice when your mother moves in or a child is adopted. Some things are hard to hide.

     If you start going in the direction of your goal, whether it be spending time with the prospective adoptee, or making moving arrangements for your parent’s furniture, she will notice. And after you walk on her, the footprints will be evident. Women are sensitive, like that. Plus the dry cleaning bill could get scary trying to get your  shoe print out of her favorite blouse.

     Most issues can be resolved if you have two willing parties who both want to make it work. Therapy, another word that seems like it should be a four-letter word, can help. Having a moderator is key for giving each other a stage for voicing feelings and concerns. Also, it can keep the situation from getting as heated, since most women don’t want to completely be a jerk in front of the nice therapist. It may get expensive running to the therapist, but it’s a lot cheaper than starting over. So buck up and pay the nice lady already, unless you truly believe you have reached a stalemate.

[Via http://lesbianwink.wordpress.com]

androgyny lollipop

katja krenalinova

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artist-photographer-free spirit

http://www.flickr.com/katja_krenalinova/

additonal image source

[Via http://taschkaturnquist.wordpress.com]

Headers and Buttons

Here are some headers and buttons I designed for a Gay and Lesbian Rights informational website.

Buttons and Headers were designed to maintain a cohesive look throughout the website. Buttons are located on all pages underneath the header of the corresponding page.

[Via http://kellymacintyre.wordpress.com]

Yes (wo)Man!

I’ve decided upon something!

After spending the past couple of hours watching Jim Carrey (try to re-live his comic hey-day) in the film “Yes Man”, that the word “no” hasn’t been doing me any favours for me. It’s a word, which as far as I am concerned speaks louder and more often than a large proportion of my mind and body actually wants it to. I’ll give you an example.

Sunday night. Oh yes, Sunday. I don’t like Sunday’s – they have this dead vibe to them. Anywho, this Sunday was slightly more interesting; after joining a friend shopping, I met up with some other friends in the evening (I even got to boycott the predictable Sunday Roast!). After a few hours of chilling and eating chips, it was decided that my friend (I’ll name her Jenny), yes Jenny, would stay round my house.

Jenny I should state now, is the lesbian friend of mine. Y’know, the one with the girlfriend, the one who is the world’s biggest tease… The one who I often dream about.

Jenny’s girlfriend however has gone on a mini-holiday; which I must admit isn’t too much of a bad thing. I was even quite happy that she had gone away, as that oh-so-sneaky part of me rejoiced in glee at the mere prospect of spending time with this girl who for a long time, I’ve wanted!

But you see, that word “no”, and “don’t”, and “think about your girlfriend” got in the way of that.

There we was, not actually doing anything –but before anything could occur my mouth was speaking before I wanted it to. Once again, one tiny portion of my head stomped all over the rest of my body, and tricked me into a harsh denial of the one thing I could have so easily had.

I knew Jenny wasn’t blind to the situation, she was playing to my fragmented mind. My actions (which honestly didn’t extend beyond hugging, and back stroking) and my happiness of feeling her body radiate its heat towards my own (especially in such icy weather) was, not to say the least contradictory to that frightful word “no”. She can see it in my eyes, she says I am a bad liar – I’m not actually, it’s just that when I don’t want to lie, I can’t – and she continued if not more subtly with her flirting.

I’ll spare you the full details, but who the hell says no when a hot, ready girl whispers in your ear “Do you want me to make you wet?”

ME. That’s who.

I’m a fool. An idiot. A complete tosser and loser. I had my chance, and I bloody wasted it, by breaking the rule that I am trying so hard to keep – not to lie. Yet I did it again. I know that Jenny’s girlfriend, if given even half the chance, would jump into bed with anything that offered her the chance to – especially if it were a male. Yet I worry about her reaction, I worry about the consequences.

Fuck consequences, I need to stop worrying about things which I can’t guarantee!

Thus, I need to set about my new mental revolution into writing. From no on, in such situations whereby I find myself eagerly wanting someone, and in situations whereby I can have that person, and they offer themselves on a plate, I shall not lie and say no. I shall endorse what the majority of my person wants, and ignore that tiny, but oh-so-powerful portion of myself which has the innate ability to control and destroy said situations.

I reckon if more people follow with this, we could spark a global revolution!

x

(Oh, and Happy Holidays!)

[Via http://londongirlblog.wordpress.com]

The Best Comics of 2009

1. Asterios Polyp by David Mazzucchelli

It seems like the obvious choice because almost every Top 10 list has this in at least the Top 3 with most of them having it as the number one.  The reason: this piece of work is just that good.

Mazuchelli furthers the graphic medium in strange and ingenious ways to depict time, characters, moments, emotions all in separate visual ways.  The art and the writing combine to make the piece extraordinary.

The story follows Asterios Polyp, a tenured professor of architecture, who, due to circumstances, removes himself of all of his possessions and travels to the Midwest to rediscover himself.  Through the novel, we’re treated to glimpses back to what has made Asterios who he is and what he feels is wrong with his life.  Memorable characters are abundant throughout, and I only wish I could have as many philosophical conversations in one lifetime as Asterios does.

Frankly, this is the perfect exercise of what comics are, what comics can become, and what makes comics – and frankly storytelling – so goddamn enjoyable.

2. The Life and Times of Savior 28 by J.M. DeMatteis and Mike Cavallaro

What is the use of a superhero once they start advocating for peace through nonviolent means?  No beat ‘em up, no entertainment, no thrills, no deaths, no nothing… just a message.

DeMatteis explores this question among many others in his pinnacle achievement of Savior 28.  This comic came out so strong because it explored national identity, personal identity, and the human condition of morals, beliefs, and love.  What started out as a rejected Captain America pitch from 20 years ago turned into one of the best superhero comics of, honestly, the decade.

The art isn’t anything special, but I’m a fan of that for this story because readers need something simple to latch onto while they face some very complex thoughts.

It challenges the status quo, and shows that superheroes can be people who fuck up, too.

3. Donatello: The Brain Thief by Jim Lawson

There was no better comic to come out of Mirage this year than Jim Lawson’s miniseries on Donatello.  First and foremost, I have to admit that Donatello is far from my favorite turtle.  Nevertheless, Lawson captured something special in the character that made him fresh and exciting.

Jim Lawson’s illustrations are often stark and barren, but somehow still filled with incredible amounts of minute detail.

And frankly, the last issue where he inks his own work (Eric Talbot inked the first three) you can see a master at his best.

The story resonates as a mystery comic with mixes of science fiction and fantasy, but it is still incredibly accessible to new readers.  Sure, it’s a ninja turtle comic, but whoever said that was a bad thing?

4. Batwoman in Detective Comics by Greg Rucka and J.H. Williams III

Powerful female lead(s), the strongest portrayal of a homosexual character in any comic I have ever read, and by far the most beautiful artwork in mainstream comics.  I have been a fan of this from the get-go, and have probably shoved it down everyone’s throats with all of my reviews.  Nevertheless, people even interested in comics need to read this one!

Williams III switches between styles to display different parts of Kate Kane’s character, but it is still distinctly his work.  Plus, all of the styles he uses are on the level and often exceed the work of contemporary, modern artists in any field.

Not only does it achieve great things for women and homosexuals with incredible artwork, but this comic contains a hell of a story!

5. Blackest Night by Geoff Johns and Ivan Reis



Probably the greatest crossover book of the decade, and it’s not even finished yet.

Sure, the premise is kind of stupid: let’s bring back all of the dead characters in the entire universe whether they were good or bad before, and turn them into the equivalent of flesh (and emotion) eating zombies.  There are dozens of zombie books on the market, why would anyone want to read one from a mainstream publisher?

Well, somehow the simple concept becomes something much more complex, and Geoff Johns writing far exceeds most of his peers.  He can take this mildly goofy premise and turn it into something that actually feels like it matters.

Plus, he throws in hell of some surprises along the way.

Zombie Aquaman sharks, attack!

6. Nine Ways to Disappear by Lilli Carré

I love Lilli Carré.  She is probably one of my favorites of all time.  I follow her work with a devotion unlike any other, and her latest work is no exception to the high quality of work she has already produced.

The little book feels like a treasure when you hold it, and you read along and absorb these nine wonderful stories.  Most of them may not be as quirky as Woodsman Pete, but I love them nevertheless.

Her illustrations are sometimes zany, other times brilliantly simple, other times filled with pattern-like complexity.  After reading this book, I felt like I had learned something about myself and the world… So, I read it again.

7. Chew by Jon Layman and Rob Guillory

If you went back and reread all of my reviews that I did of Chew, you probably would not expect it to be found anywhere near this list.  In fact, you may have imagined it on the worst of list.

Really, I wouldn’t have been too surprised either about a month ago.  Then, I reread all of them, and I realized that I was wrong.  There is a brilliance in this series that far surpasses most comic books on the market with its crazy and original content.

Hell, the created dictionary-like terms for most of their characters that will forever easily be said in lore as if they didn’t come from a comic.  “Hey, wouldn’t it be cool if you could be a cybopath!”

Tony Chu works for the FDA.  He eats things.  He solves crimes.

8. The Walking Dead: Fear the Hunters by Robert Kirman and Charlie Adlard

Robert Kirkman sure is consistent with his output.  This was a great story really digging in to tell how far humanity can get away from being human when under forced circumstances.

Plus, the standoff is probably one of the most badass moments in the entire series.  I gasped aloud and reread that issue.

If you’ve never read this series and are either a) interested in comics b) interested in zombies c) interested in human morality systems amongst many other things, then you should read this.  No doubt.

9. Invincible Iron Man by Matt Fraction and Salvador Larroca and Frank D’Armata

The best series out of Marvel, by far.  Watching Tony Stark erode and work backwards through his past to become a cripple was strangely one of the most entertaining things I looked forward to every month.  I came onto this series midway through, and it didn’t scare me at all.  It made sense with its small cast of characters.

I can’t really say much else about this one because it seems so inherently obvious that it deserved a place on this list, and that others should check it out.

10. Tales of the TMNT #56, 59, and 61 by Tristan Jones and Paul Harmon, Tristan Jones and Paul Harmon, and Tristan Jones and Andres Ponce, respectively.

Tristan Jones, you brought the grit back to the Mirage Universe for the handful of issues that you got to work on before the end of the series.  You made the turtles kick ass again.  You made new characters in the Turtles-verse which, in a single issue, suddenly reminded me that the Turtles can lose.

I loved each and every one of these comics, and I know it seems unfair to pick and choose from the run, but these were some of the best of the entire volume two of Tales of the TMNT.

Paul Harmon and Andres Ponce, you guys made B x W comics look way better than most colored comics in my entire collection.

Notables: Batman and Robin (issues #1-3, at least… 4-6 were really bad), Batgirl, Secret Six, Incredible Hercules, and Barack the Barbarian (I love this mini more than I probably should).

Things ranked high on other lists that I still haven’t read and may have placed on the above list: Stitches by David Small, Scalped by Jason Aaron and R.M. Guéra, Driven by Lemons by Josh Cotter, Parker: The Hunter by Darwyn Cooke, and The Photographer by Emmanuel Guibert and Didier Lefevre.

The Worst of 09:

I thought about doing a separate blog post about these, but really… it would just be a lot of me bitching, and I’m tired of working on best list for the last three hours.

  1. Deadpool: Merc with a Mouth
  2. Dark Wolverine #78 to current
  3. Batman: Battle for the Cowl
  4. Buck Rogers (everything except #0)
  5. and everything else I tried to avoid.

[Via http://mechanisticmoth.wordpress.com]

Vera Vision—Lady Cab Driver

  

  ”Have you ever watched two women get off?” Alex asked the cab driver, Natalie.

    ”On porn,” the shy cabbie replied.

    ”Wanna have your first experience with it being live?” Lisa asked.

    Natalie’s night started off normally. She picked up a few customers and followed his normal routine. Nothing was out of the ordinary and seemed unusual. However, it was a special stop to pick up a party from Sapphire’s, a well-known strip club, which made her night unforgettable. Even her cab buddies thought she was full of shit until he presented the solid evidence. Then he began to get requests to switch routes.

    Alex and Lisa was a playful couple who had a very active sex life. From experimenting with BDSM to using different strap-ons, the women knew how to get each other off without too much effort involved. It was Alex’s idea to bring the vibrator with them to the clubs that night in case they wanted to get freaky and didn’t want to wait until they got home. But it was Lisa’s creative thinking that made the women try something radically different. On their way to another club, Lisa spotted an auxiliary plug-in. her mind spun in excitement as she reached into Alex’s purse and pulled out the OhMiBod. “I wanna try something,” she whispered to Alex.

    Lisa leaned over to the protective window that separated the driver from the passengers. “Excuse me, I have a huge request. Can we borrow your auxiliary plug-in for a few minutes? I need to charge up something.”

    Natalie didn’t seem the harm in the request and complied. Lisa slipped her the iPod cord and Natalie slipped in the auxiliary plug. She thought the ladies were simply charging their phone or mp3 player. She soon realized it was neither with the soft moans filling up the small cab space. Natalie adjusted her rear-view mirror and was almost startled by what she saw. Alex had Lisa’s blouse unbuttoned and was fondling her breasts. Alex trailed her tongue from Lisa’s neck down to her breasts and began suckling on them. Lisa’s legs naturally opened for more and Alex wasted no time playing with her girlfriend’s clit.

    During the heated moment, Lisa caught Natalie watching them through her mirror. She motioned to Lisa and whispered to her. Natalie quickly looked away and focused her attention on the road. She focused as much as she could, that is. It was very hard to concentrate after seeing two hot women going at it. “Have you ever watched two women get off?” Alex asked.

    ”On porn,” Natalie shyly smiled.

    ”Wanna have your first experience with it being live?” Lisa asked.

    The million dollar question. If she pulled over, Natalie would still have to charge the women for time spent. “It’ll cost you,” she quietly warned.

    ”We’ll give you a good tip,” Alex smiled.

    With that, Natalie pulled over into a secluded area.

    To be continued….

[Via http://veraroberts.wordpress.com]

Monday, December 21, 2009

Helping LGBT Youth

Geoff Kors of EQCA recently had an op-ed in the Bay Area Reporter announcing EQCA’s new student internship program. It’s worth a read:

Originially appeared in the Bay Area Reporter

Jim Nickoff, my best friend of more than 20 years, came out at age 15 in 1978, a time when very few teenagers came out and even fewer services were available for LGBT youth. The pain he suffered after being rejected by his family, his faith, and community was overwhelming. Jim was determined to heal the wounds, but they never healed no matter how hard he worked at it. The realization that the pain would not end became unbearable. On December 16, 2007, he committed suicide at the age of 44.

Jim not only worked hard to overcome the harm he suffered as a youth, but he also worked hard to prevent other youth from going through what he did. He devoted his life to the fight for equality and created opportunities for LGBT youth through his work at Equality California and many other LGBT and HIV/AIDS organizations.

Creating a safe, accepting environment for LGBT youth is just as crucial today as it was when Jim came out. In fact, although the battles for equality being waged at the ballot box, in the courts, and in legislatures throughout the nation are most often in the spotlight, it is the battle for acceptance in schools that may very well be the most important fight of all.

We know how anti-LGBT forces preyed on parents’ fears about what will be taught in schools to strip away marriage rights at the ballot box in Maine and California. But the fight extends far beyond the issue of marriage and has been going on for decades.

Anti-LGBT organizations fought us every step of the way to prevent the passage of Harvey Milk Day legislation and, having lost, they are now working to keep schools from teaching about Harvey Milk, even urging parents to take their children out of public schools altogether on May 22, Harvey Milk Day, in protest.

Just last week, those leading the effort to repeal LGBT inclusive anti-bullying curriculum adopted by the Board of Education in Alameda, claiming it created “special rights,” reiterated their opposition even after the school board’s recent vote that not only reaffirmed its commitment to teaching respect for LGBT people but also expanded the curriculum to include respect for racial, ethnic, and religious minorities and others who are subject to discrimination-based bullying.

This change did nothing to appease opponents since the special rights argument is really just an excuse. Their true goal: preventing any positive mention of LGBT people in school curriculum.

These are just the latest fights in the many decades of school-related battles we have fought against those opposed to LGBT equality, which started long ago with attempts to prohibit LGBT individuals from being teachers, and they continue today.

Right-wing groups fight safe schools legislation, anti-bullying curriculum, and the establishment of gay-straight alliances because they believe that if straight students are taught to respect LGBT people and get to know LGBT students as friends and classmates, it will counter the bigotry these youth hear from right wing religious leaders, family members, and others, and we will gain greater acceptance.

They are threatening to boycott Harvey Milk Day because they worry that if students learn about the history of discrimination against, and achievements of, LGBT individuals, they will be less likely to hate us and more likely to support equality and acceptance. And they are right.

If students learn the truth, we will help stem the damage that bigotry and bullying cause. That is why Equality California has worked so hard to pass strong, inclusive safe schools legislation – legislation prohibiting negative portrayals of LGBT people in curriculum, and the bill creating Harvey Milk Day in California. It is why we will fight for inclusive curriculum and anti-bullying policies until they are the law in every school district in the state. It is why we need to make sure every California student knows why we are celebrating Harvey Milk Day on May 22, 2010, and every year thereafter.

We need to make it clear to the broader public – and parents in particular – that the danger isn’t in students learning about LGBT people in school, but rather the danger is in students not learning about LGBT people in school. We need to take on our opponents and call out these adult bullies for the very real harm they cause to LGBT youth – harm that lasts a lifetime. It is only by speaking out strongly about how youth are hurt by anti-LGBT prejudice that we have the opportunity to reduce the growing number of hate crimes against LGBT people and the higher rates of substance abuse, drop outs, and suicides among LGBT youth and adults that are a direct result of anti-gay bias.

We owe it to every LGBT youth and the children of LGBT parents, to fight for safe schools and inclusive curriculum. We owe it to Jim and to every LGBT person whose lives have been lost to suicide or a senseless hate crime. In fact, we owe it to every youth, LGBT or not, so that when they grow up and have kids of their own they can pass on the lessons of tolerance and acceptance. In so doing, we will be taking a major step toward ending the bigotry that damages so many lives and toward achieving our goal of true equality and acceptance.

The Equality California Institute has established a student internship in Jim Nickoff’s memory. Applications and information can be found at www.eqca/jobs.

[Via http://queerstockton.com]

LESBIAN: PART-TIME, MAYBE NOT OR JUST FOR THE SEX BITS

She is exceptionally well put together from her Donald Pliner made in the mountains of Italy shoes to her perfectly coiffed mid-length dark brown hair.

She is tone on tone. Even lines of colour and of soft, touchable fabric that moves seamlessly from head to toe and includes her  hair, glasses, lipstick, jewelry, clothes, shoes, skin.

She is smart: you find that out when you talk with her. After chatting with you a while, she begins to laugh easily, makes cheeky comments when there is a lull in the conversation and then just as you are about to leave, mentions that she’s been thinking about how technology is changing what we mean by human communication.

A subject matter over which you quietly might obsess a little bit.

You excuse yourself a moment, asking if she would like another drink, and when she says yes, you ask her what she is drinking and when she tells you, a gate opens in your mind.

“Prosecco and pear juice, please,” she says with a slight smile, handing you her fluted glass. You pretend not to notice that her little finger touched your forefinger as she placed the glass in your hand.

Not overly good looking or even overly attractive, but there is something compelling about her.

You go to the kitchen. Your first dinner party in a long while since you’ve been single, since you’ve noticed, since you’ve looked at another woman with anything that might pass as interest.

Friends brought friends. It is the thing that friends do after all, work together to line-up the potential next one.

In the kitchen, your very good friend (VGF) for ages and ages is mixing something that you know does not have a name, can’t be good for you, but will taste amazing.

She offers you a sip. Yep. Tastes great. You don’t ask what’s in it.

“I see you’re talking with Marianne,” says your very good friend.

“She’s interesting,” you say.

VGF doesn’t look at you. “She is that,” she says stirring her elixir.

Warning bell. “Tell me,” you say in that voice that no-one ever ignores.

VGF sighs. “Well, here’s the thing about her. She only sleeps with women. But she isn’t a lesbian.”

Your nostrils flare imperceptibly at the impact of cognitive dissonance which gives you the same feeling across the bridge of your nose that comes with ice cream brain freeze.

But you are, if nothing, cool. Aloof even. Inscrutible when you want to be. You pour the Prosecco and pear juice into her fluted glass and into yours.

“Explain to me how that works, please?” you ask VGF.

“I can’t. I don’t get it.” VGF takes another sip of her concoction.

“Marianne doesn’t date women, she only sleeps with them. She doesn’t consider herself bisexual. And she sure doesn’t consider herself a lesbian.”

You look at VGF. “How do you know this?”

VGF  finds something very interesting on the countertop that calls her attention and she leans over, away from you.

” I, um, slept with her a few times.”

“I see. Does she sleep with men?” you ask as your brain tries to wrap itself around this data, as you try to avoid stereotyping a woman based on second-hand information.

The countertop still seems fascinating to VGF as she mumbles something that sounds a fair bit like, “occasionally.”

You breathe in, blink once and head back to tone-on-tone, smart, cheeky and interesting woman, handing her the drink as you reach her. She smiles at you.

Small talk for a few minutes. Your mind … simmering.

You ask her who she knows here and she points out some of your second-line acquaintances and two friends, one of whom invited her along. You note that VGF is not in the group she pointed out.

You smile softly, nodding, listening. “Been out long?” you ask when she is obviously finished.

“Oh, I’m not gay,” she says. “But I do like women sexually.”

Her eyes hold yours a moment and you wonder if she noticed that your right eyebrow raised a fraction and that the hair at the back of your neck stood up a wee bit.

You call on Mindfulness. Call on it again when it doesn’t come the first time. Lesbian Buddhist tribe and Lesbian Yoga Chick Tribe training kicks in simultaneously. You ease up. Each to her own. Something bubbles up from memory, a relevant credo in a book that you recently read. “Love As Thou Wilt.”

You smile. And raise your glass inviting her in a toast: “Vive la Femme!” after which you graciously excuse yourself for the comfort of your best straight friend and her husband.

[Via http://fcs2.wordpress.com]

A Field Guide to the Homophobe

A Field Guide to the Straight Girl:

http://ordinaryfreakshow.wordpress.com/2008/11/30/a-field-guide-to-the-straight-girl/

A Field Guide to the Straight BFF

http://ordinaryfreakshow.wordpress.com/2009/02/25/field-guide-to-the-straight-bff/

So here’s the next (over-due) installation to the Field Guide series: A Field Guide to the Homophobe.

I’m sure you all know what a homophobe/homophobic is, but if you don’t, a homophobe is someone who is either scared of gay people (homo meaning gay and phobe meaning fear) or, under a loose interpretation of the word, someone who dislikes (or hates) gays. For me, finding out someone is homophobic is probably just as scary for a homophobe to find out someone’s, well, gay. The situations are literally synonymous to each other. There’s no way to know that someone’s gay, and there’s really know way to know that someone’s homophobic, unless either of they say so themselves.

The only way to know if someone is homophobic is to feel them out a bit. Of course, some people just come right out with the fact that they simply do not like gay people. Or, on the more negative side, they could lash out. Ask around. Ask the people who you trust to give you the truth. See how she reacts whenever anyone mentions something gay-related. Keep in mind that a lot of people will say “Don’t be such a fag” or “That’s so gay.” That’s really no indication if someone’s homophobic. It could mean something, but not always. Words like fag and gay are just conventional words that don’t really mean anything anymore.

Now, I generally categorize homophobes into four categories: Passive, Moderate, Aggressive, and ‘Immatures.’ The most important thing, I think, is to calculate whether or not the person is under any of the three categories. To be completely and absolutely honest, it is important to deduce whether or not someone fits under the Aggressive category. Why? Safety. True, these days, everything’s getting better. We can be more open about being gay, and honestly, there are few people who still fit under the Aggressive category. But some still do. Never forget that there are still violent attacks on gays that have lead to serious injury and even, in extreme cases, death. Lawrence King, for example, died only last year. A girl in NJ was killed at a local bus stop. The list goes on. I don’t mean to scare people, but that’s the harsh reality. Thankfully, as I already mentioned, very few people these days fit under the Aggressive category. My only advice? Steer clear of them. Don’t be argumentative, and as much as I hate to say it, don’t be ‘flamboyant.’ Safety is the most important thing here.

The Moderate category and the Passive category is where most people are going to fit. The Moderate category are generally going to be the people who aren’t going to extend further than verbal lashings. The verbal bullies. Whether or not you stand up for yourself is your choice, and it’s totally understandable if you choose to say nothing. Oftentimes they’re not going to be swayed to believe anything other than gays are awful. Not much you can do here. How to spot them? They’re probably the most outwardly argumentative. “Bible-thumpers” fit underneath this category, evangelical types who make it a point to say they don’t like gays. Again, I say bullies. They’re looking for a fight.

The Passive category is going to include a lot of religiously motivated people, and people who are driven, by more logical arguments, to dislike gays. They’re not going to really outwardly say anything, but if anyone asks, it’s who they are. They don’t like gays. What I’ve found about the Passive category, is that they’re easily swayed. Most of them, like most homophobes, have never met anyone who’s gay. In fact, they know very little. Their extent of their knowledge rarely exceeds past what they’ve learned in Sunday School. Actually, all I can say is just to let them get to know you. Even engage in some friendly, healthy debate on the topic. Maybe you can change their mind on how they feel about gays. Most of the time, they’re not going to be outwardly hurtful.

Now there’s the “Immature” category. Here, you’re just going to have a lot of high school kids who are afraid of anything they don’t really know about, ie) gays. I hate to stereotype, but this category is going to have a lot of guys. Unfortunately, today’s society raises the male demographic to be ‘macho,’ which is anything but that stereotypical gay. Thus, a lot of guys are going to be afraid of ‘fags,’ and they’re going to be outwardly argumentative. Not much to say here other than be yourself. Maybe even open up their minds a little bit.

I know the approach I take to the ‘Homophobe’ might not be the best. But it’s a way that I’ve found works for me, and it’s a way that’s easy to put down on paper. If anyone finds this offensive, I sincerely apologize, I did not mean it as such.

To the gays, I know it can be scary to find out that someone’s Homophobic. Especially if they’re your friend, your teammate, or classmate. In the simplest of terms, here’s what I have to say: Be respectful and always take the high road. Show them that you won’t sink down to they’re level and that you are a respectable and all in all nice person. And above all, be safe.

[Via http://ordinaryfreakshow.wordpress.com]

Mindy Kaling

I might be a little late on the bandwagon for this, but I love Mindy Kaling. This isn’t just an “oh, I really appreciate Kelly Kapoor on The Office” kind of love (even though I do); it’s far more profound and well considered than that.

What provoked this, you ask? Well, actually, it was her totally awesome and hilarious column in the New York Times a few days ago (h/t Gawker). As I read it, it was like an epic epiphany. Like woah, I really really like this chick. Her jokes are funny, in the ha ha kind of way and in the ohhhh that’s really cute kind of way. DOUBLE FUNNY! That takes some skillz. Plus she makes really awesome cultural references to things like “13 Going on 30.” Fucking fab film.

Then I did some research. I already knew that she’s a writer on The Office, which, admittedly, has gotten less funny since Jim and Pam got together (am I the only person who liked Karen?). I’m assuming that our friend Mindy was responsible for one of the catchiest Office lines ever [everyone say it with me]: FASHION SHOW! FASHION SHOW! FASHION SHOW AT LUNCH! so cute.

I remembered she had a Twitter feed. Promptly checked that shit out, and was not disappointed. Key tweet?

Exactly how much clothing am I supposed to take off when I put on a robe at the hairdressers?

True story, Mindy (aka new best friend)!!!

Then, I found her blog. Even though it hasn’t been updated since May, it’s still amazing. We here at DBIH can only try to reach this level of future greatness. Maybe once we get our book deal. Until then, I am, as your ever-faithful servant, trying to become more like Mindy.

These are just like the glasses that Jappy bought that she never wears. Evidence for why I love Mindy Kaling, but only like Jappy.

[Via http://dearbloginheaven.wordpress.com]

My Revolution

As of last week I turned 24, that means that there are only 359 days left until i hit the big 25. I have been joking about how I am going to have a quarter life crisis dragtastic roller rink party next year and i have decided that if i’m going to be all dramatic about it I might as well make it an even bigger deal, and give myself some things that I want to accomplish before 25. I guess some of these could be considered Birthday or New Years resolutions but those irritate me so I am going to call this my Revolution instead. A revolution because this will be the year that will change everything, that will get everything on the right track and that will be the one the I remember as the year I really lived my life and became the person I always wanted to be.

When I was 11 we had to make these books as a class with descriptions of what we thought we would be doing 10 years later. Its funny because we would have only been 21, just barely (maybe) out of college and I was all planning to be married, have a big family, and be the editor of the New York Times. (I guess I was a pretty ambitious 6th grader who obviously wasn’t too hot at math) I wanted to be a writer as well, at least have one novel published and spend all my free time locked in my apartment (something similar to Carrie’s on Sex and The City i’m sure) typing away and creating amazing works. I always assumed I would have a degree hanging from my wall in Journalism or something as equally impressive and that I would be practically famous.

Now I know this isn’t the exact life I want now but it has some aspects that I would like to accomplish and at least be on the right track to obtaining this year. I already have the amazing partner and big wonderful family. The hundred of presents under my tree just for my immediate flock is proof enough of that. While i don’t live in a huge city I do live in the biggest city in Idaho where I work downtown live on the outskirts (which don’t feel as outskirty as they used to)  where I own my home and for the most part love my home life. All i could ask for as far as improvement on the family and living situation to ask for in the next year is one to have a bit more money and not live paycheck to paycheck like we do now, and two to improve my relationship with the kids. I love being their “Bonus Mom” and already have such a great connection with them, but I want to be better at talking to them without seeming condescending and disciplining with love the way Nightrider has mastered. Being as wonderful of a parent as she is would be amazing goal for me to work toward achieving.

I just finished my first semester back at college. This is my second time around and has already proven to be much more sucessful then the first. I took two classes at night over the last semester while still working full time and managed to get A’s in both classes. I have decided that for now my current major is Sociology which I am hoping to obtain my associates in at my community college and then transfer over to the local university to either continue my path to a BA in Sociology or something as equally stimulating for me. I entered college  with the idea that I would obtain a degree in graphic design and while that still is an option for me I have fallen in love with Sociology and have put more of a focus on it as I feel it will be beneficial to my marketing, non profit, and social networking mediums. I hope before I am 25 I will be more sure of the academic direction I am going, will continue to maintain a high GPA and to have some more classes under my wing, possibly even be ready to transfer to university the spring following my birthday.

As I have mentioned before I love my employer, appreciate my job, and enjoy what I am doing. I am hoping for this year to keep enjoying my job, keep making great business contacts and to work towards generating profit for our company and hopefully obtaining a promotion from it. I want to work hard, give my all everyday and keep having fun with what I am doing. I want to handle stress better, keep positive no matter what the market  conditions bring about and leave work at work and not take the mess of a bad day home with me.

This blog, and my Stiletto Siren endeavors are also something that I consider work but definitely the best, and most fun kinds of work. I would like to post 5 days a week without fail and rebuild my web presence. I will continue to explore, sex, identity, fashion, fat acceptance and all the other things i love.  I also am working on a couple other projects that you should be hearing about soon and plan to give my all to make them a great success.

Now about my body…see if this were a set of resolutions instead of revolutions i probably would have started with this as most people do (see aren’t revolutions so much more pleasant?) Over the last year I have gone from diet obsessed, to fat acceptance, to flat out gluttony and back again. This year I am going to look at my body in a healthier way, both physically, mentally, and dieretically .  I am going to treat my body with the respect it deserves and treat it as the temple it is. I am going to begin practicing a variation on  HAES again. I am going to exercise daily in a way that not only makes me feel physically well, but also that makes me feel emotionally and spiritually connected to the world around me. I am going to eat what i love and love what I eat but do it in moderation, and learn to listen to the true cues from my body. This means eating when I am truly hungry instead of when something tempting is infront of me or out of pure boredom. I really believe that if i practice this i will get to the size my body is meant to maintain and no matter what that size is will feel great about myself, being comfortable in my skin.

For relationships I want to continue to love Nightrider all the way to my fingertips and have the same done in return. This year we will continue to love each other and learn from each other. To be each others best friends, partners in life and in crime and to always be honest with each other.

Some other revolutions that I have  are as follows

1. To learn to manage stress in a healthy way without rage, constant itching, and deviance

2. To have fun in the everyday, to laugh, enjoy, love, and be at peace with the simple things in life.

3. To look fear right in the face, grab the bull by the horns, and not let worry control my life.

4. To be the kind of person I love to be around, to be confident, happy, optimistic, and outgoing.

I think thats it for now but definitely a good start to what will be  a great year!

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