sometimes

when i get so lonely my heart could leak

i imagine if mom was still around

would she be proud

would she say out loud

im proud of my daughter

would she guide me and hold me

as i battle monsters in my head

of self-doubt and guilt and fear and…

failure…

is not allowed

my blood won’t let me

600 years of tradition

keep me on a mission to succeed

weed out the weak and the meek

and to take what i want

to sup from the fountain of power

except

its only what im supposed to do

no more war but now the corporate ladder

makes those still in my life gladder except

i dont want to anymore, this fight

to be free to be me

has drained me emptied me

as if i were a milking cow for the lestat family

but of course thats ridiculous

hahahaha

we all know one is not supposed to live

ones life for another

but still a little part in me

hidden from the twisted light

that probes the cracks in my smile

i imagine if mom was still around

would she be proud

would she say out loud

im proud of my daughter

would she guide me and hold me

as i battle these monsters in my head

of self-doubt and guilt and fear and…

failure…