Homophobes at Work

Nope, not literally work.  Just those idiots you have to work around who happen to hate you, or people like you, just because you’re not “straight”.  They’re out there, we’ve all met them and worked with them and around them.  The real question is, how, or if, you put up with it?

I’ve been pretty lucky in my law enforcement career.  I haven’t had the displeasure of running into too many of these bozos.  I have, however, run into a few.  A couple of times, they were either my supervisors or in command staff.  Hey, whatever it takes to keep work interesting…

In the major cities of Arizona, like Phoenix and Tucson, this type of behavior most likely isn’t going to be tolerated.  Both Phoenix and Tucson have domestic partner registries.  Tempe, at one time, had a gay mayor.  I’ve been told by a colleague who used to work at Tempe that there are quite a few open and out cops there (I can’t verify that, not knowing any Tempe cops myself, but that’s what I’ve been told).  But still, it’s not the overt, outright hate speech that gets me the most, it’s the common, everyday, small stuff that I hear.  I think most of the time, the person saying it doesn’t stop and think how it will be taken.  I’ve had a couple of things happen to me, and to my squad.  The one that involved my whole squad ended in an internal affairs investigation and some transfers.

A few years ago, I was in a specialty unit.  My sergeant and I didn’t see, well, eye to eye on most things, like how to run an investigation.  He also had some personal beliefs about “alternative lifestyles” that he didn’t mind sharing with the unit.  I will give the guy credit, he did try to tone it down around me (I was out at work), but he would slip.  Toward the end of the time he spent with the unit, he was “slipping” in front of me more and more.  This was happening right around the time Ellen Degeneres was doing her own public coming out.  One day, my sergeant started going off on “Ellen Degenerate” and gays in general.  He knew I was in the room, hell, his office was the size of a large broom closet.  What really got me was the look on his face when he glanced at me to see how I was taking it.  That day I just walked out of his office.

Could I have done more in that situation?  Sure.  I no longer work for that agency, but they do follow their policies for that kind of crap.  I just didn’t want to rock the boat at that time, and decidedto let it roll.  He got himself transferred for other reasons not long after that.

I had something happen just last night at briefing.  I’ve been at my new agency for a little over a year, and I’ve been out the whole time there.  On my first night of the week, we have double-squad day.  The sergeant for the other squad just loves to show YouTube videos at the end of his briefings, which of course usually have nothing to do with cop work.  So, last night, at the beginning of the video he was showing, there was a comment about the group God Hates Fags, which is a very lovely group (please feel my sarcasm here).  Apparently this comment was funny to him, so he had to rewind and play the comment again.  To tell you the truth, I kinda felt like I”d been hit in the gut with something.  That group is crazy and scary and just plain disgusting.  If you’ve never heard of them, feel free to check them out here  www.godhatesfags.com/

The question you have to answer for yourself is, how much are you willing to take?  And, how offended are you really?  I tend to handle things on my own; if someone says something that I take exception to, I’ll just tell them about it.  Most people don’t even realize they’ve said something to offend you.  But when you run into one of those people who know they’re offending you and mean to degrade you, then maybe it’s time to take it up the chain, even if it means an IA investigation.