Don’t shoot me over the title of this article! I know sometimes a lesbian pays a lot of sincere attention to you in the name of friendship, with no ulterior motives. I also know the other side of the story, about lesbos who say they want to be friends, then a few days, hours, or even minutes later, you end up having to push her away, as she comes in for a surprise kiss on the mouth. Not all surprises are good, are they? Yikes! But then, some sneak attacks are mind-blowing, with a capital M and a capital B. Yummy!
Believe me, I am no goody, goody sitting in judgment. Shenanigans is my middle name, but I had it changed for obvious reasons. My point is, that lesbians seem unique in their receptivity to lovers and friends, with them being interchangeable and often appearing, disappearing, and reappearing like weird, horny rabbits in a magician’s act. You know what I mean, right?
We have ex’s we break up with, then sleep with again. There are best friends we have sex with, then reject, as only friends. There are friends who are romantically involved, who we pray will break up with their girlfriends, so we can jump their bones. Even in business we can’t seem to follow that time- tested, albeit, crude golden rule…”don’t sh _ t where you eat.” We often meet business associates we suspect are lesbos, that we lust for, but are afraid to confront. Sometimes we follow our head and keep our distance, and other times, we follow our heart, risking our livelihood. Add about fifty other strange scenarios to this twisted list, and you might have covered about half the pairings that lesbians conjure up in their imagination. Chaucer would be proud. If you don’t know him, then look him up under Canterbury Tales, and you’ll see what I mean. Who says literature can’t be fun, with those English people proccupied with the pleasures of the flesh, jumping in and out of the sack with anybody, anywhere, anytime.
I actually decided to count the times a so-called friend has made a pass at me, one who declared her friendship loudly, claiming no other romantic interest at the time. Over two decades of being “out,” I have had eight, “friendly” lesbian friends come on to me, who had no supposed romantic intentions towards me. Please don’t ask me how many times I’ve done the same thing in reverse. I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about, and yes I resent your inference. HA! Like I said earlier, shenanigans, my middle name, need I say more?
In the interest of defending lesbians and their lack of willpower as it relates to friends and lovers, I will state my case simply and succinctly, for a change, by saying, SO WHAT? How can I fault anyone for going for what they want, as long as they don’t leave too many victims in their path. If you have the guts or bravado to stake your claim and put yourself out there in the name of love, I say go for it! That doesn’t mean I justify making a play for your best friend’s girlfriend or a straight woman with eight kids and a loving husband. Don’t get me wrong. Even I draw the line in the sand where kids and good marriages are at stake.
I wish I could end this blog on an original note, but the truth is, a golden oldie says it best when they suggest that, all is fair in love and war. I guess I have to agree.
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