So, obviously I did not get everything off my chest yesterday…so let’s try this again.
I do not like you Mother Nature. I do not think you are very funny when you visit me three times in one month. No, I don’t quite get your sense of humor. I hate the fucking reminder that I am not a breeder and that there is no purpose to this monthly (or in some cases weekly) ritual. And as if your frequent visits and overstaying your welcome wasn’t enough, you make a mess, irritating me all the more. Your visits cramp my style both literally and figuratively and I am fed up. I can’t even keep you as my dirty little secret because your tell-tale signs show up on my fucking face and in my demeanor. Oh yes Mother Nature, you have pushed me to the brink….but not over the edge.
Without me going into all the truly gory details, I think you get a glimpse of the picture. You see, I’m a 32 years old woman. I have yet to bear a child of my own, although I have raised other people’s children quite successfully. I have battled cervical cancer and won (with my parts mostly in tact). Oh yeah, and lest I forget to mention that I am a lesbian. So, yes, I get it…I get it all too well. The cards for bearing children are already stacked against me. If I forgot that for even a moment, I am sure my mother, my doctor, or society in general would find a way to remind me.
Just two months ago we ushered in a new year, a new decade…it is 2010. Medical advancements abound. I could choose ablation, a partial hysterectomy, or a number of other techniques available and be home with minor side effects in less than 24 hours. If Mother Nature had sent me over the edge, there are options to deal with my “female issues.” And while we are on the topic, do we really have to refer to this topic in such a shameful way? Why must we lower our voices, or skirt naming our genitalia (Va-jj, hoo ha, down there) and the problems that exist bloody as they may be? We do this even when in all female company. Well let me lay claim right here for all of us-THERE IS NOTHING SHAMEFUL ABOUT BEING A WOMAN. THERE IS NOTHING TO WHISPER ABOUT. AND MY FEMALE PARTS, MY VA-JJ- IT IS A VAGINA, AND I ALSO HAVE A UTERUS, AND YES I HAVE A FUCKING PERIOD!!! I am lucky enough to live in the United States with access to healthcare and options other than wife and mother. I am blessed enough to have health insurance. However, I still will not choose to end my suffering with a medical procedure that denies me the right to choose to bear children if all the planets happened to align and could make it so.
Why not? Because although it is a new decade, although it is 2010, I live in the state of Florida. I don’t particularly believe I need to birth a child in order to be a mother. The world is overpopulated and there are many children awaiting families to care for them. In Florida alone, prior to the influx of children from the Haitian disaster, there were over 3000 children living in foster care or orphanages awaiting placement. But in the Sunshine State, it isn’t so sunny for our youth. Why? Because an entire subsect of our population is excluded from adopting. Gays are banned from adopting in the State of Florida by an antiquated law that was put on the books over 33 years ago. A Circuit Judge in Miami ruled in 2008 that Florida’s ban on gay adoption was unconstitutional. The American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Medical Association, and the American Psychiatric Association all support same-sex couples to adopt. And yet, in Florida we have yet to rise up and repeal a law that is harms our youth and demeans our LGBT community. If the humanistic viewpoint to this story wasn’t enough to sway you, consider the fiduciary issue. We spend over 2 million dollars caring for children that families would willingly care for, if only given the right, the chance.
So, no, I will not make a medical decision that seals my fate - not until this law is repealed. Until then, I will suffer not so silently, and continue to rant to those who will listen. Today, as I cursed Mother Nature I felt a glimmer of hope. On one of my many bathroom breaks during meetings, I received an email update from Equality Florida. Representative Randolph introduced an amendment to the adoption law forcing debate on this issue for first time in 33 years. While House Rules Chair Bill Galvano prevented a simple up or down vote, Randolph was still able to make his point heard before withdrawing the amendment. Yes it is 2010, my people. It is time to take a stand and be heard that gays are long overdue the recognition that they too can AND HAVE raise/d healthy and happy families. Let your Senators and Representatives know where you stand. Make a phone call, send an email, or at minimum get informed and keep the conversation going…House Bill 315 and Senate Bill 350 still must be voted on. 3,000 plus children are anxiously waiting.
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