lesbians, skimpy outfits, and miracle whip

Hi, I am the eight millionth queer today to blog about the new Lady Gaga music video:

I never quite know what to make of Lady Gaga. I used to think she was the same sort of male gaze bullshit that I see every day, but as I’m getting more familiar with the Gaga ouvre I’m not so sure anymore. And apparently large numbers of straight men find her absolutely repulsive (to the point where they speculate that she’s a drag queen–heavens, what could be worse?!) so I’m not sure what the fuck anymore.

I suppose I’m most quietly intrigued by the fact that the opening portions of this video feature more credible dykes than I expected. No, not the male-gazey dancers in their pretty bikinis (though I must reluctantly admit that those boots are pretty hot). Try the lean, muscular prison women (with their, uh…belly shirts and Gaga-fondling sessions, but as I think I’ve pointed out before, I don’t expect too much and take what I can get, sigh).

And there’s kind of a weird subtext going on that you see real honest to God “lesbian-looking lesbians” (what does this mean??) in prison, and “pretty people” (alternately: straight people?) outside. But the denizens of the bar are pretty weird-looking, so I can’t figure out what’s up with that; I guess the bikini prison dancers, Gaga, and Beyonce are the only conventionally pretty people in this music video. So I have no idea what the fuck. Maybe this portrays some kind of post-apocalyptic Mad Max future in the United States, where homosexuality is illegal, and weirdly-dressed pop stars cavort around the global-warming -fueled desert in their Pussy Jeep, and Lady Gaga gets hired to make sandwiches. Or something. WHO RUNS BARTER TOWN? LADY GAGA RUNS BARTER TOWN.

The product placement’s been noticed before, and I don’t find it grating or offensive so much as I find it really bizarre. The phone’s dumb–I didn’t notice the laptop–I think I thought the dating site was imaginary. But Miracle Whip? Wonder Bread? All brought together by Lady Gaga? What the hell? Do these companies want me to take away that if I eat their food, I will die? It doesn’t tweak my anti-capitalist sensibilities (corporatism? in a music video? say it ain’t so!) as much as it blows my fucking mind.

In conclusion, this song makes no sense in conjunction with this music video, what the hell.

Also: I would like to stop hearing this song at the gym, please, because it’s irritating. If you’re going to play Lady Gaga there please treat me to Bad Romance, because then I stop reading and start listening and actually like the song. THANKS.

[Via http://queeritself.wordpress.com]