I Feel Nervous.

Tomorrow I’m going to see that woman I’ve loved for years. Big deal, I see her most days… Yet for some reason, I actually feel nervous.

It’s a weird, and strange feeling. I mean, I’m not too much of a nervous person – awkward, yes – but I like to think of myself as fairly composed. I speak to her often, and I’m around her often; but the fact I feel nervous, is making me feel even more unnerved.

I think it might be because I fear that she might find out about my love for her. I fear that she can read me, or someone else might make a comment – and that will really leave me in the shit. I cannot honestly imagine anything more embarrassing, or horrible than her knowing – which I know sounds completely weird… But it would be so terribly awkward.

There are just somethings that you don’t want another person to know about – and this has to be one of them.

I’m hoping I have nothing to be nervous about, but the possibility of something going against my favour is greater than I dare to think about. And if other people can randomly pick up that I have a thing for her, or as one girl put it “You’re in love with her”, then surely she must’ve picked up the same vibe too.

Not that I want to sound perverted either, but I hope she hasn’t ever caught me staring at her. I don’t believe she has, but God, she would think I am some sex-craved weirdo.

I think I am just going to try and hope for the best. If it does go all tits-up, then I’ll have to think of a plan. But yes, positivity is the key (as I like to say), and so yes, tomorrow WILL BE FINE!

Hopefully.

x