I do awkward like a champion. Phase I is celebrating its 40th birthday this weekend and kicked it off with a Hunter Valentine show. What great fun. I kicked it off by hooking the cash short crew (rowing) dyke up with a few bucks so she could pay for her beer. I like to start the night off with good karma. Hugged three random people re: Maryland. Became bar buddies with an African American woman of almost 50 who was awesome enough to save my bar stool for me during each of my 15,000 trips to the bathroom. Creeped out Hunter Valentine’s bassist not once but twice with my awesome lack of conversational filter and ability to say whatever cracked shit crosses my mind. Danced my ass off during their set, grabbing girls and asking them to jump with me. (I’m like 6 – I like to jump. Movement is fun. People should move more.) Surprisingly (I’m always surprised, let’s face it) well received. Cute chubby Asian girl was heartsore I didn’t dedicate myself to jumping with her exclusively.
Hunter Valentine are wicked awesome live by the way. I hate chicks voxs on the album, but live is a whole ‘nother thing. The opening band was rad too, although their name currently escapes me. I may update later.
Hit on a really cute pixie cut short girl who didn’t ennunciate well and either had a girlfriend she was trying to piss off or was just a bit flakey. I saw her last time I was at Phase I. She was part of a large group and I couldn’t figure out the dynamic then either.
Drank way too many PBRs (@3$ a pop I left with zero cash. Came in with 30. Thank God it’s a cash only bar. Let’s pretend i didn’t drive home). Came into work 4 hours late and extra dehydrated.
12am-130am-ish: chatted up, flirty touched, good vibed an extra cute Cuban (but American!) full on gay girl (she’s not bi!) who works for Greenpeace (status unknown, but hopeful she isn’t a hippie). She rode her bike to the bar, so once we were kicked out due to the lateness of the hour she threw her bike in the back of my truck and I gave her a ride home. Got a goodnight hug. Made drunken plans to go out to see The Room with me tonight. I promised I would mohawk it up. She teased me for having pink nail polish in my truck. Texted her about the movie this morning. No news yet, but I’m hopeful. Evil me is really hopefully since BRG and Fucking That Guy (FTG) are going to this event too. My cousin is also coming, so either way I’m not there by myself, but I REALLY WANT BRG TO SEE ME MOVING ON 3 DAYS AFTER BEING DUMPED…with another extremely hot girl. I fall hard, fast. But once a door is closed, I don’t spent a lot of time fumbling around looking for the hide-a-key. Seriously, I must have stumbled through a cloud of magic dust because hot girls keep digging me. It is so good to be gay.
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