CBS reportedly told a gay dating site that its proposed Super Bowl ad would be reviewed for possible airing and would be considered if a spot becomes available.
ManCrunch.com submitted a 30-second commercial to CBS on Jan. 18 and, as of Jan. 22, CBS reportedly said “the spot hadn’t been officially approved yet” by the network standards and that all spots for the big game on Feb. 7 had been sold out, according to Fox News. But CBS agreed to consider running the ad if an advertiser dropped out.
The ad involves two men watching the Super Bowl when their hands touch as they reach into a chip bowl. The two men then begin to kiss each other as another man sitting nearby watches in shock.
In response to the purported ad, a spokesperson for the conservative pro-family group American Family Association said it would be “totally irresponsible” of the network to air the ad during the most watched TV program of the year.
“CBS should not put parents in the position of answering embarrassing and awkward questions from their children while they’re just trying to enjoy a football game,” said Tim Wildmon, president of AFA, in a statement Thursday. “CBS should quit dithering around and reject this ad out of hand.”
In addition to pressure from pro-family groups, CBS is also coming under fire from pro-choice groups for approving an ad featuring college football star Tim Tebow and his mom, Pam.
Though the exact content of the ad has not been revealed, many are speculating that it will recount Pam Tebow’s refusal to have an abortion while she was pregnant with Tim despite having suffered from a life-threatening infection at the time.
Focus on the Family, which produced the ad, said earlier this month that Pam Tebow would share a personal story centered on the theme of “Celebrate Family, Celebrate Life.”
“The Tebows said they agreed to appear in the commercial because the issue of life is one they feel very strongly about,” Focus on the Family reported.
“Tim and Pam share our respect for life and our passion for helping families thrive,” added Focus on the Family president and CEO Jim Daly.
Focus on the Family’s Super Bowl ad, which still needs to receive final confirmation, will be Christian group’s first Super Bowl commercial.
Super Bowl broadcasts are typically viewed by over 90 million people each year.
This year’s Super Bowl, which pits the Indianapolis Colts against the New Orleans Saints, will kick off at 6 p.m. ET on Sunday, Feb. 7.
The time has come Central Valley for our Saturday night gay hang out: “EVOLUTION” it the only 18 and over gay dance night up and down the Central Valley, so come check it out-door open at 10:00 pm.
The state House voted today to indefinitely postpone action on a civil-unions bill this session.The voice vote defers any action on the bill unless two-thirds of lawmakers vote to bring the bill back for consideration.
Several gay activists in the House gallery chanted “roll call!” But the House quickly moved on to other items on the agenda. Some activists screamed “shame!” as they filed out of the gallery, and the House broke for recess.
The state Senate last Friday passed a civil-unions bill that would give same-sex and heterosexual couples the same rights, benefits and responsibilities as marriage under state law.
The state House had voted 33-17 last session for a civil-unions bill that only applied to same-sex couples.
Support for the bill in the House slipped out of concern with taking another vote during an election year.
Now,if we can only vote for the righteous men & women in the state this coming election..perhaps hawaii will make a turn for the better??Praise the Lord for victory in the island among the civil union!
AHHAAHAHAH I am laughing too hard. Angelina Jolie and Lady GaGa?? we all knew Angie just HAD to turn out to be THAT creepy. YES, she could totally be gay under all the covers : )))) Lady GaGa??? who is not gay in the business these days? hahahaha)) what a story. (caution, pals, this is probably very untrue) BUT I’D LOVE IT TO BE REAL, wouldn’t you? ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Yesterday, I asked my readers (or lack thereof) to comment in on their thoughts of lesbians who birth children through natural conception. I said I would react and give a bit more information on why this topic surfaced..
Here is my response to a comment:
Right, preference is huge when it comes to sexuality (granted not everyone has a TRUE preference), I understand everything you’ve noted here. Being open and honest about wants, desires and needs is crucial in making any situation of that type (bisexuals mostly) function positively.
Like you, my most immediate question was, “Why the change?,” and this woman is quite simply an “equal opportunity employer” BUT has a heavier history with women.
I suppose what I asked my own self is, “Would I be willing to date a TOTAL bisexual?” And by total I mean, someone who leans neither left, nor right, but is dead set in the middle. I asked myself this because with her, I find her sexuality easier to accept for myself because I do know that previous to this gentleman she was a lesbian and that she is more in-tune with that part of herself..
Should she and approach that threshold of actually dating, there will certainly be further questions asked as to true sexual identity.
There’s this thing my lady friend calls the “big lesbian cesspool.”
Let’s look at some facts. In the last three elections, the Voter News Service exit poll registered the gay vote between four and five percent. Apparently the Census 2000 under-counted (awesome! go equality!) the total number of gay or lesbian households and thus the total gay and lesbian population can be estimated at five percent of the total U.S. population over 18 years of age.
Now, let’s do some (very bad) math. I live in New York City. It’s estimated that there are 8.3 million other people living in and around me. Multiply that by five percent and you have 415,000 other folks that either are in a strictly homosexual relationship or would like to be. Now, the tricky part: what percentage of that number are women identifying as lesbians or bisexuals? Wouldn’t it be nice if you could just halve the number since the population is generally 50 percent male and 50 percent female? But I don’t think that’s scientifically correct.
When Kinsey did his famous sexy time studies, he found that somewhere between one and two percent of women were exclusively homosexual. We’ll take that with a grain of salt since it’s a bit outdated. Ultimately the number of LGB people in the U.S. (then and now) really is quite subjective and fluid. I’m not sure a number will ever be pinned down.
So for everyone who skipped my bad math and quick googling skills: in the grand scheme of things, there aren’t a ton of gay people around. Thus, it’s safe to assume there is some inter-dating between exes and friends. And that. Shit. Gets. Complicated. Have you ever seen the L word? Let’s do a quick rundown: Bette and Tina dated. Bette dated Alice. Alice dated Dana. Dana sort of hooked up with Jenny once. Jenny dated Shane. Shane made out with Helena. Helena dated Tina. It’s a big, lesbian cesspool of dating your best friend’s ex or your ex’s best friend.
Truthfully, I didn’t believe this when my lady friend told me about the cesspool she was minorly connected to in Brooklyn. Call me naive but originally I chalked this theory to being nothing more than that: a theory, a myth, like unicorns and the iPhone. But then Alexis rolled into town for my birthday and drowned me in that cesspool with one drunken text.
We were at a lovely dinner party. Alexis made guacamole that, despite it’s poopie color due to my inability to pick out ripe avocados, was absolutely delicious. My Italian side reared its head with some bruschetta and red wine. We had too much gin, too much wine, too much pulled chicken and a super heated game of catchprase. My friend invited coworkers and my lady friend’s ex girlfriend was in town for the weekend as well, so she joined the fun. Generally, my rule of thumb is to hate any ex of anyone I’m sleeping with. But this girl is downright awesome; acts just like a boy with me, generous with cigarettes and introduced me to the most drunkenly violent game of rock, paper, scissors ever.
The night was winding down. Lady friend and I were lying on the floor of her bedroom trying to digest our respective food babies and my phone starts to vibrate. I was a little shocked to see a text from Alexis waiting for me. She was maybe ten feet away from me in the other room. What did she want? Why couldn’t she come into the room and tell me herself?
Alexis: Uh oh. I have something to tell you.
Me: Okay?
Alexis: It’s bad.
Me: Um, okay. Tell me.
Alexis: No, I’ll tell you when we get home.
Now at this point, Alexis rolls into the room with another friend. I’m a little perplexed as to a) why she didn’t tell me in person; b) what’s so important and c) how she manages to text me while we’re in the same room without anyone noticing.
Me: Tell me now.
Alexis: I think one of your friends is really cool.
Let’s translate: “I think one of your friends is really cool” in Alexis speak means “I want to bone one of your friends.” But something was a little fishy. When Alexis is bombed, she makes no effort to hide who she wants to bone. She’d probably tattoo it right across her forehead if she could and I don’t blame her since she usually gets what she wants. Her secretive texts immediately made me think she had the hots for my lady friend or the ex.
Me: Oh. Christ. Lady friend or ex?
Alexis: What? Dude? Come on. I think the ex is really awesome.
BAM. I just outed Alexis. Alexis had the hots for a girl. Maybe it was the wine? Maybe it was seeing me all up on another girl? The world may never know.
I must give credit where’s its due. Alexis managed to single-handedly introduce me to the big lesbian cesspool with her mini crush on my girl’s ex girl all while keeping her pants on. And it’s a shame, because the ex totally would have hit that if Alexis had made the first move.
Everyone knows you make time for the things that are important to you, well TYPICALLY people make time for what is important to them. Anyway one who is following along knows that a new person has begun to catch my interest. We’re calling her CraigsList, until I can come up with something better.
Up until yesterday, I didn’t know much about her outside of what she looked like, a couple of her interests, that she loves to read, a few of her goals and she has an excellent sense of humor. So, being the naturally curious person I am, it urked me that I couldn’t get a little deeper (I like to know a lot early on so I can exit IMMEDIATELY if not interested). Well, yesterday was that day.
As I had mentioned yesterday, I reached out to her (via email) not expecting to much in response, as she always declares she is super busy. Well, Miss CraigList shocked the shit out of me when she not only replied to my idle inquisitions, but went into further detail with them than I expected. To further this, she always was so generous as to share one of her favorite poetic pieces with me. NICE.
We got a little deeper into the getting to know each other process (well, I got deeper into getting to know her) and I learned quite a few interesting things.
CraigsList is a totally devoted, single mommy. She works hard, is pursuing her Masters’ degree and raises a mini me. She was lived with the father of her daughter for four years and they were engaged to be married. For reasons unbeknownst to me, the wedding was called off (by whom, I’m uncertain) and he moved out. My understanding is that he is a DAD, not just a father. He steps up full force and remains involved in MiniCraigsList’s (I couldn’t come up with a name for her yet) life.
I don’t like making snap decisions. I don’t like to judge. I like to have all the facts and process my thoughts before I open my mouth. So, I had a million and one questions after reading all of this, but I decided it best to let things come out on their own. HOWEVER, ya’ll know I had to ask the million dollar CLICHE question:
ARE YOU LESBIAN, BI, CURIOUS, OR SOME CATEGORY ALL YOUR OWN?
I hate to have asked that, because labels are absolutely horrendous, but I needed to know. MiniCraigsList is still a toddler, so not too long ago, she was an engaged woman. Her response of course, was not that simple, but I dig her answer.
We continued through the day shooting emails back and forth until finally, we both had to get moving in directions out of our offices. We both had class and welp, I didn’t expect to hear from her until today OR ANOTHER DAY, for that matter.
Before the conclusion of our conversation, I made it clear to her that despite all that, I was interested in getting to know her better and she stated the same.
Now, when people give me replies such as those, I immediately toss them out. I dont take them as being genuine. In my mind it registers as a “polite” response of sorts that you are tossing out because of what I said first. It’s just like when someone says, “Hi, how are you?” and another person replies, “Good, and you?” They typically not asking because they care to know, but because it’s:
A: a natural reply B: a polite reply C: just to have said something in return
SURPRISE.
I didn’t have to wait until today to hear from her. I didn’t have to wait a couple of days to her from her. Last night, at minutes to 11 last night (just before bootycall hour), guess who gets a call from CraigsList?! I did. This woman just throws me for a loop. She called me just before she went to sleep just to catch up on the rest of my day a little.
TWO POINTS.
Simple things like that are what make my whole day. Doesn’t take much to make me happy. That small stich of effort (just a few minutes on the phone) speaks volumes to me. And it made me think about something she had stuck into one of her earlier messages.
We had been discussing poetry and how she likes to write, but hasn’t been able to find the time to do so. She then said, “we do make time for the things that we want to right?!”
Firstly a thousand pardons for my utter neglect of my blog. After taking a break over the holidays (and soaking up the Oaxaca sun) I moved to Selinsgrove, PA (Susquehanna University). Amazing how much energy and concentration goes into relocating. Besides all of the work to settle (unpack, set up an office space, make new friends, connect with friends I met over the past year here) I also took up in earnest once again to work on my memoir after a break during the fall tour. After two hours a day of writing, I felt I had nothing left for a blog.
Well, here I am back at the blog and ready to embark on the 2010 Winter/Spring Tour. I used to title my tours. Back in 2005 it was the Burning Bush Tour. What shall 2010 be I wonder. Will have to think about that.
I begin in North Carolina, Warren Wilson College exactly right outside of lovely and weird (they like being weird) Asheville, NC. From Feb 1-18 I will be their Activist in Residence doing a variety of performances, workshops, classes and community activism. Here is my schedule (Public events in bold–See Facebook page for more details) Leah McCullough, the school’s Spiritual Life Director, has organized most of these events in order to deepen various dialogues on campus and beyond. I am VERY excited about my time at the school.
Warren Wilson College Activist-in-Residence: February 1-18, 2010
Monday, February 1
arrives in Asheville – – Go to lunch
5:00 – 7:00 p.m. – Emmaus Group – Bibliodrama (Luke 7 story about the “bad woman giving Jesus a sexy foot massage)
11:00 a.m. – 12:20 p.m. – Class: Gender and Social Change (Laura Vance) – Where we will discuss essential and constructed gender
Scene from Transfigurations
7:30 p.m. – Performance – Transfigurations: Transgressing Gender in the Bible – Kittredge Theater
Thursday, February 4
6:30 p.m. – Quaker meeting –
Friday, Februay 5
Spartanburg Regional Medical Center for diversity training/Queer issues with staff
Monday, February 8
5:00 – 7:00 p.m. – Emmaus Group – Integrating Faith with Sexuality –
Tuesday, February 9
7:30 – 9:30 p.m. – Homo No Mo?!? Orientation, Gender and the Ex-Gay Movement – Canon
Wednesday, February 10
4:00 – 5:30 p.m. – Work Crew Training (Peace and Justice, Spiritual Life, Empower, RISE, Queer Resource Center) – Slow Dancing with the Enemy: Effective Strategies for Engaging Your Opponent – Upper Fellowship
7:30- 8:40 – Class: Religion, Work and Service – Topic this night is “Honesty” – living into true self – integrated life – being who you are meant to be – finding your passion – Jeanne Sommer –
Thursday, February 11
6:30 – 8:00 p.m. – Presentation – “This is What Love in Action Looks Like” or New Media or Storytelling as Activism – Not a set program yet
5:00 – 6:30 p.m. – Emmaus – Integrating Faith and Sexuality (continuing the conversation) –
8:00 p.m. – Performance - Doin’ Time with Peterson Toscano – Canon
Tuesday, February 16
7:00 – 9:00 p.m. – Queer Circle –
Wednesday, February 17 (Ash Wednesday)
Goodbye Party
My bags are nearly all packed with a variety of scarves and wigs and Audre Lorde books and face creams. If you live in the Asheville area or know of folks who do, please spread the word!
It’s no secret that my current girlfriend and I got off to a rocky start. In fact, it was the rockiest beginning I’ve ever encountered. In the past, the real drama didn’t start for at least a year or so into the relationship, after a proper honeymoon period of fabulous sex and cool dates. From this explanation, I bet you’re already worried about my future. After all, who fights that first couple of months? No worries, my friend. I’ve figured some things out.
Here are a few of the things that I’m doing that seem to please her, in case you’re curious about such things. I have my suspicions, that these same strategies may work on all other types of humans too, but can’t be sure. Since making her happy, makes me happy, it’s all good. As angelic as this blog will make me sound, don’t be overly impressed. I do these things for selfish reasons; I want to be happy and live in peace.
The first thing I do every day is the hardest for me and in my opinion qualifies me for sainthood. Even though I am self-employed and could sleep in until noon everyday if I wanted to, I am getting up with my wife at O ‘Dark Thirty in the morning (about 6:15am), and making her coffee, while she races around the house to get ready to be a teacher. I also feed the four dogs and find missing keys and do other chores to help my beloved get ready.
She’s not a morning person. In fact, she is about as opposite of a morning person as I have encountered. Given that fact, it is amazing to me that she took this thankless job where you have to be at work by 7:50am every morning, with your lesson plans complete and your nerves prepared for the onslaught of High School kids. You understand why she appreciates my morning gesture now, don’t you.
Another way I’ve found to give good wife is to keep my mouth shut more often. I’m prone to arguing as I love a good debate. Unfortunately, not everyone does. It seems that some people have learned how to disagree with no negative consequences. That would not be the two of us. I have learned to save my urge to debate for other people, preferably people I don’t sleep with. This is working out much better.
By far, the biggest thing I have changed in the way I interact with my wife is that I have stopped trying to control what she does. In particular, she is interested in adoption. I was not, at first. Having a child is the single biggest thing she wants. We fought over this, and then I had a rational moment and realized that if I deprived her of this dream by saying, “NO,” then I was doomed. She would always see me as the one that took her dream away. With life as uncertain as it is, no one can say for sure what will happen. This fourteen year old girl may be a blessing to both of us. I actually like kids. They just scare me sometimes. So I am taking a chance I would normally not take myself, and supporting my sweetheart in her decision.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re calling me names. PU_ _Y-WHIPPED is what you called me. You may be right. But in the scheme of things, aren’t we all suffering from that condition, as lesbians, I mean. So you go ahead and call me names, and I’ll smile all the way to the bedroom, where I’ll have mind-blowing sex because my wife is happy and as stress-free as I can help her be, at least for now, and until the adoption goes through. One day at a time, right. All we ever have is the day we’re currently living. That is my new way of looking at life. This new perspective seems to make sense for me. I’ll check back in with you if things change. You know I will. Blogs rule!
Para kaum homoseksual sejak lama mengemukakan pendapat bahwa dirinya berbeda dengan masyarakat yang heteroseksual lainnya dalam hal orientasi seks. Orientasi seks mereka muncul dari dalam dan bukan merupakan pilihan atau dibentuk dari lingkungan sosial. Hal tersebut telah menjadi perdebatan dalam bidang sosial, sains, politik, bahkan agama. Artikel kali ini menjadi jalan tengah dari perdebatan tersebut, yang mana telah diteliti bahwa homoseksualitas merupakan bagian dari fenomena biologis.
Seorang peneliti syaraf dari Salk Institute of San Diego bernama Simon LeVay menemukan bahwa bagian anterior hipotalamus (bagian yang mengontrol perilaku seksual) dari seorang homoseksual, memiliki bentuk yang lebih mirip dengan anterior hipotalamus milik wanita dibandingkan dengan yang dimiliki pria heteroseksual. Hal tersebut dikemukakan dalam jurnal yang menjelaskan tentang perbedaan otak pada homoseksual dengan heteroseksual, yang kemudian diketahui perbedaan tersebut ditemukan pada bagian hipotalamus. Hipotalamus sendiri merupakan bagian yang berfungsi sebagai sumber dorongan seksual. Hal tersebut meningkatkan kemungkinan bahwa perbedaan tersebut bukan hanya berhubungan dengan homoseksualitas, tapi juga berperan sebagai penyebabnya.
Salah satu penafsiran (korelasi atau penyebabnya) menyarankan bahwa beberapa perbedaan biologis adalah akar dari homoseksualitas dan yaitu dugaan yang sangat potensial. Homophobia dapat mengeksploitisir hasil dengan menentukan tempat kerusakan pada otak pada homoseksual, bahkan mereka dapat mendeteksi homoseksualitas pada bayi yang masih dalam kandungan. Lainnya menginterpretasikan data tersebut sebagai bukti bahwa homoseksual merupakan variasi alamiah dari otak seperti tangan kidal. Kemudian akan banyak gay akan membenarkan penemuan LeVays tersebut seperti apa yang telah mereka percayai. Hal tersebut mulai menjawab Mengapa homoseksual muncul di hampir kebanyakan populasi manusia, walaupun budaya membatasi. Sehingga diusulkan bahwa homoseksualitas merupakan fenomena biologis.
Penemuan tersebut berdampak besar pada dunia sains sebagaimana pada lingkungan sosial. Perbedaan struktur hipotalamus antara pria dan wanita mungkin ditentukan tingkat hormonal saat dalam kandungan. Beberapa perbedaan dapat berperan pada perilaku seksual pada pria dan wanita.
LeVay telah memerikas post-mortem dari otak manusia dan menemukan dua daerah, atau disebut nuclei. Nuklei pada anterior hipotalamus pria berukuran dua kali dari yang dimiliki wanita. Studi berlanjut pada pria homoseksual yang meninggal karena AIDS. 19 homoseksual menunjukkan satu bentuk dari nuclei (disebut INAH-3) berukuran lebih kecil dibandingkan pada pria heteroseksual. Ukuran nuclei tersebut serupa dengan yang dimiliki oleh wanita.
Penelitian tersebut merujuk pula pada penelitian yang dilakukan oleh Gloria Hoffman, seorang ahli neuroendokrin dari University of Pittsburgh. Eksperimennya menyebutkan bahwa monyet yang memiliki luka pada bagian anterior hipotalamus menunjukkan tanda-tanda penurunan pada aktivtas seksualnya (seperti mounting dan masturbasi). Penelitiannya dijadikan rujukan sebagai pembanding terdekat dari manusia dalam hal pengaruh efek fisik terhadap orientasi seksual.
Semua objek penelitian LeVay adalah homoseksual yang meninggal akibat AIDS. Pria homoseksual sangat berisiko terkena AIDS dibandingkan kaum lesbian. Timbul perdebatan bahwa mengecilnya nuklei merupakan dampak yang muncul akibat AIDS dan bukan bentuk alami dari homoseksual. Hal tersebut dibantah dengan dukungan dari seorang peneliti dari UCLA. Peneliti tersebut menyatakan bahwa pria heteroseksual yang meninggal akibat AIDS, akibat kasus lain, memiliki INAH-3 nuklei yang lebih besar.
New shenanigans have come to light at James Madison High School, where two teachers were recently caught naked in a classroom and another was punished for getting too close to a student. The latest scandal involves Madison High gym teacher Lisa Gutilla, 37, who was arrested Friday for feeling up a 14-year-old girl, police sources said. The student attended private Poly Prep Country Day School, where Guttilla was a part-time volleyball coach. The abuse came to light when the teen’s mother started asking questions about a hickey on her neck – and she confessed to sexy sessions with Guttilla between Jan. 4 and 9.
A complaint filed in Brooklyn Criminal Court says the teacher did “touch, grab, squeeze and kiss the [girl] about the breast and buttock.”
Guttilla was charged with sexual abuse and child endangerment and sent to the “rubber room” – a reassignment center for teachers under investigation. “She is a teacher at Madison, and she has been reassigned,” said Education Department spokeswoman Margie Feinberg. The allegations against Guttilla are the latest to rock the Midwood high school where she worked.
In December, Madison foreign-language teachers Alini Brito and Cindy Mauro were found undressed in an empty classroom and sent to the rubber room.
Social studies teacher Allison Mussacchio is under investigation for having an inappropriate relationship with a male Madison student.
And a teacher has accused Assistant Principal Michael Edelman of sexual harassment.
-”The BklynBandette.” Mr. Hollywood’s Co-Defendant.
Oral sex features in many of our fantasies, but for lots of people it’s still taboo.
Common fears Some people are reluctant to try oral sex, or even to suggest it, because they fear rejection. Disgust also plays a part, as lots of men and women are brought up to consider their genitals to be unsavoury.
Women might be convinced their partners will find their labia too big, too wrinkled or too hairy; men, that they’ll be laughed at for not being sufficiently big, upright or straight.
Both may be scared the other will object to the smell or the taste, and that they’ll feel vulnerable if they surrender themselves to being given pleasure by their partner.
But the truth is that many people would really like to offer to perform oral sex for their partner.
What makes oral sex so appealing? The fact that this form of pleasure is still seen by some as forbidden, and even a bit dirty, adds excitement. When your partner chooses to be in such intimate contact, it’s like being told that, far from being unattractive, you’re good enough and special enough to eat. It can feel like the ultimate expression of acceptance.
There’s something irresistible about being treated in this way. Even though you can do it to each other at the same time, it’s usually a case of one person lying back and having all their desires and needs attended to.
The mouth, lips and tongue have a dynamite combination of flexibility and softness that can’t help but please. You can kiss, lick, suck or nibble. Some people prefer gentle movements; others prefer firmer attention. It’s up to you to discover your particular preferences together.
Talk about it Discussing your concerns with your partner can really help. For example, if one person is happy to perform oral sex but refuses to receive it, the other might end up feeling guilty, because he’s unable to return the pleasure he experiences to his partner, as well as rejected and untrusted.
Of course, it could be that the first partner is afraid to let him see, taste, smell and touch her, and perhaps simply needs to hear in no uncertain terms, “I love your body. I’d give anything to taste you.”
Don’t cover up If you’d like to try oral sex with your partner, it’s only courteous to make sure you’re clean first. But don’t forget that the natural taste and smell of your body may well be what attracts them the most, so don’t cover up with perfumes or deodorant.
Many people are turned on by the sight, taste and smell of their partner’s most intimate parts. If it’s a new partner, it’s advisable to use a condom or dental dam (thin latex that lines the mouth) to screen secretions and prevent infection.
If you feel embarrassed Try it after a bath or shower. When you’re clean and fresh, you’ll feel more comfortable. Worried about the way you look? Dimming the lights and lighting candles can boost your confidence.
Names for oral sex .Oral sex is often known as a soixante neuf or sixty-nine, because of the shape two bodies make when lying mouth-to-genitals.
.When one person performs oral sex on another, this is sometimes called a ’sixty-eight’ (“You do me and I’ll owe you one”).
.Stimulation of the vagina with the mouth is called cunnilingus; stimulation of the penis with the mouth is called fellatio.
What not to do Although oral sex is known as a ‘blow job’, the one thing you should never do is blow into your partner’s body. You could cause an embolism (obstruction of an artery by an air bubble) or infection. But many people like their partner to blow gently on skin made damp by licking.
A good majority of the visits to this blog are people searching for things like, “Love God, love people” or “fulfill the law.” It makes sense why Google would send them here; it is the title of my blog after all.
If you are one of those searchers, you probably quickly figure out that this blog isn’t what you were searching for. But please, don’t let that stop you from reading. Don’t you want to hear the ramblings of a gay ex-Christian girl?
I wasn’t one of those lukewarm Christians, either. Even my very Christian mom called me “fanatical” when I threw away all my R-rated DVDs (that I’m now having to buy back… gah!). I’ve been on international mission trips. I have a Bachelor’s degree that focuses on mission work! I went to Bible College because I wanted to explore the Bible so much deeper than my church was taking me. I wanted to serve Jesus more than anything. I wanted to make Him happy. He was my whole identity… my whole life… my passion… my love.
I had “lingering doubts” about God throughout my entire born-again life, but I always shoved those to the back of my mind, attributing them to Satan or my fallen nature. When I fell in love with my best friend, and she actually fell in love back, I had to confront a part of me I had also shoved to the back of my mind: the nagging feeling that I liked girls, and I had no interest in the boys. After many prayers and tears, I finally accepted that gay is just what I was, and I would never be happy trying to play it straight. However, this was in great conflict with my church’s teachings.
To make a long story short, I considered myself a gay Christian for about a year, but I could not ignore how hated I felt by my so-called spiritual family… people who were supposed to be closer than blood. I also had to confront that other nagging feeling in me: that Christianity was a lie. It was a long process, one I’m still going through, but I can honestly say that I feel much “freer” now than I did when I was supposedly free in Christ. My brain just cannot believe in him anymore. It conflicts with my reasoning.
But I’m not here to convince you lurkers to leave your faith. I couldn’t do that anyway. I would just like you to read some thoughts from someone who used to be one of your own… but someone most of you would damn to hell if you met in the streets. The reason I want you to read is not so you can sort of get to know ME… but because someone close to you is probably going through the same things I did. Please, don’t hate them. Seek to understand.
Some people – women especially – just hate what you do for a living. Their distaste for your profession is completely out of sync with any personal impact it could possibly have on their lives. If you have ruled out jealousy, competition and/or fear of the unknown – what is left to explain the almost rabid and allergic reaction to the way you pay your rent or mortgage?
Recently it dawned on me that very much like the gay rights movement, our movement – the sex worker rights movement – suffers its worst insults from closeted whores and johns (If you find those words offensive I invite you ask yourself why. Personally I am all about reclaiming the words used to oppress us). Let’s face it the men who are most adamantly opposed to decriminalization often turn out to be regular clients of sex workers. The most publicized example of this is of course former New York governor Eliot Spitzer who had built his career with a promise of “ethics” and the prosecution of prostitution rings but was later found to be a regular client of prostitutes.
And what about the women? I have often envisioned them as insecure wives – worried that I and my sex worker colleagues were out to fuck their men – for free if necessary – just to show them up as the incompetent and unalluring losers they worry they are. But I don’t think jealousy is the big motivator we have allowed ourselves to believe it is. Instead I wonder if our most vehement opposition comes from women who have more in common with us than they would like to admit.
When I recall the cruelest and most dismissive reactions to my choice to become a sex worker, it has often been from female “friends” who were former sex workers or extremely promiscuous or at least prone to dating for money. The truly asexual or bashful female friends have usually been more curious than offended by my choice in careers.
Recently I began attending a church well-known for its tolerance of all lifestyles and beliefs including atheism and paganism. I didn’t imagine that my former identity as a working girl would hold much interest for the congregation. After all, I have been semi-retired for over five years and live modestly as an author and couples consultant. My motivation for attending church was twofold: I hoped to find a venue for my workshops on peace and I wanted to add a little ritual to my life. For instance when my dog got cancer I found the “Blessing of the Animals” to be of great comfort.
So imagine my surprise when the witch in charge of the pagan meetings (no, I am not trying to insult this woman, she really is a witch) launched an effort to expel me from the church. Initially, I thought she was simply offended by my approach to world peace: polyamory as modeled by the bonobos. Yeah, this is another topic and not really relevant to this blog entry but suffice to say that I believe a lot of violence results from a sex negative culture and I have a lot of research and evidence to back up that claim.
But even after I abandoned any aspirations I had to teach workshops at this church and simply attended the pagan meetings as a student in search of more knowledge of the various forms of paganism, the witch persisted in her campaign to drive me from the congregation. She called one day to suggest I attend pagan workshops at a local bookstore where their approach would be more “adult.” For the umpteenth time she told me how her workshops would be “family friendly.” I told her this might come as a shock to her but I have a family and I am a mother to four step-children. The silence on the other end of the phone was deafening. What was she thinking? Was she shocked to think former prostitutes might have families? Or was she offended to think I had ever been allowed to parent children? Who knows but she certainly choked on the news.
Since I have only been to about five church services and my interactions with this woman have been brief and polite, I am quite certain that her reaction has very little to do with me personally. But I do represent something that appears to terrify her. For one of the pagan rituals she held at the church, she wore a costume which reminded me of the ancient sacred prostitutes. The skirt was constructed of sheer chiffon adorned with beads and coins. I couldn’t help but wonder if she understood what her costume signified in days of old. How could she sport coins on her person without comprehending the significance of money sewn into a garment? True, some will argue that this was “dowry” money but the fact remains that the coins were sewn into the garment as a reminder that the dancer expected to get paid for her performance while she was performing – very much like strippers are paid today.
We could now have the argument of whether belly dancers are sex workers or we could ask ourselves why it is so important to draw this arbitrary and nonsensical line in the sand between the “good girls” and the “bad girls.” And that really is the point to this blog entry. Women are insanely invested in distinguishing themselves from the “bad girl” and the more closely they skirt the “bad girl” lifestyle, the more obsessive this drive to say “I am NOT a whore” becomes.
A similar phenomena is well documented in the gay rights movement. It is now common knowledge that some of the worst hate crimes against gays are often perpetrated by closeted homosexuals who are full of self-hatred and denial. Similarly I believe our sex worker rights movement would do well to understand the self-hatred and denial which fuels hate crimes against sex workers. I think we will find that our most vocal opponents are quite literally in bed with us as clients or metaphorically as self-hating closeted sex workers.
What might we do to win these closeted clients and sex workers over to our struggle for civil rights and the dignity of choice? I’m not entirely sure. If I find a way to assuage the terror my existence has created for the witch at church I will let you know. I DO know this though. Every effort to decriminalize or legalize prostitution has been blocked by the “good women” of the community in question. Historically both prohibition of alcohol and prostitution have been feminist endeavors as championed by many of the suffragists of the early 1900’s. So although present day feminists might think their stance against prostitution reflective of political evolution, it is instead a fairly old-fashioned and conservative take on the oldest profession.
Many political movements will dissociate from other more controversial causes for fear that their primary objective will be lost. Early feminists were afraid of accepting lesbians and the gay rights movement didn’t want to champion transgender rights. This fear of being associated with others perceived as “less deserving” of civil rights is a noxious but all too human failing. I wonder if it has its roots in basic human survival and perhaps that is the impediment we battle when we seek to assert our civil rights as sex workers. Or perhaps the broader issue here is that neither men nor women possess a sexual bill of rights and rather than fight to assert their rights alongside sex workers (who are working for the rights of all adults to have sex as they see fit) they recoil with the fear of losing what few freedoms they do have.
What do you think? What is is that fuels the disrespect and even hatred we often encounter from second wave feminists, from wives and girlfriends, from concerned parents, from law enforcement, from landlords, from child protection services, from neighbors, from family, from former friends and even from our own clients?
Today I ran into my last (ever) ex-boyfriend, my first (ever) ex-girlfriend, and the love of my life (mystery female referenced in my last blog, in the event you’re just tuning in now), in that order, in the space of about five hours. I won’t lie to you I kind of wanted to throw up. As possibly indicated by the ‘last’, the ex-boyfriend deal was not a good experience. Not at all. The ex-girlfriend… well turns out she was crazy, but seeing her was still hard… She was majorly depressed when we were dating and I realized our relationship was really unhealthy and she wasn’t ready for a relationship… Gah, but it’s so hard to resist the urge to pick up my phone and at least text her… I didn’t think I had any sort of residual feelings for her, except maybe resentment, and then I saw her face… heard her voice… This sucks. I need to get out of here. Christian school + lesbian = misery. That’s the conclusion of this week. My life = misery.
Ok, that’s dramatic, but you get my point. It seems I am resigned to be on guard to avoid awkward exes and looking for even the tiniest seeds of hope that the likely ’straight’ love of my life might have the potential to be interested… Ay la le.
A while back I posted about how Fresno has some deep-seeded problems that need addressing. Well it seems that the entire Central Valley is looking down the barrel of a very long and troublesome gun. An article entitled “The Appalachia of the West” in this week’s Economist details that the Valley’s problems could just be beginning:
Farming will not disappear, but whether it will be as big as it is now is a question, says Mr Phillimore, adding that “If the agriculture goes away, there is nothing.” In the San Joaquin valley agriculture provides almost 20% of the jobs. The alternatives are depressing and scant. For example, many of California’s prisons are sited in the Central Valley’s wide expanses, in what is sometimes called an “archipelago”.
A big problem is that the workforce in the Central Valley is badly educated, says Carol Whiteside, the founder of the Great Valley Centre, a not-for-profit organisation whose aim is to improve the region. The largest farms are often still owned by the families that arrived a century or so ago—the descendants of Portuguese and Dutch immigrants are big in dairy farms, for example. But most of the whites tend to be “Okies” who arrived from the dust bowl of the Great Plains during the depression, such as the fictional Joad family in John Steinbeck’s “The Grapes of Wrath”, who drove up and down in search of work on the stretch of Highway 99 where Paramount Farms now sits.
Economically, socially and educationally, their descendants have barely moved up. Nor have more recent immigrant groups such as the Hmong, Thai and Mien, who came to work in the fields during the 1970s and now live in Central Valley cities such as Stockton, Fresno and Modesto—or, of course, the Mexicans, who have been coming since then and are now the majority of workers in the fields, where Spanish is the common language.
These demographic trends, combined with the water shortage, are causing worry. The Central Valley is already one of the poorest regions of the country. And its population, about 6.7m in 2008, is among the fastest-growing; it is expected to double in the next 40 years, as new immigrants continue to pour in looking for farm work.
This has led to comparisons with Appalachia, which has also relied on a declining extractive industry (coal mining) and has suffered from high unemployment, poverty and a relatively unskilled workforce. A report commissioned by Congress in 2005 argued that the San Joaquin valley is in some respects behind Appalachia’s coal country in diversifying its economy.
I love Vanessa Williams. She’s a great singer and actress and I have to admit, I do aspire to be like her. But before she became the class act we all know like below:
She was on the freaky-deeky tip….like this:
Her famous (or should I say infamous) Penthouse pose that cost her the Miss America crown back in 1984. But I do believe she did pretty well for herself (albums, movies, TV), so don’t feel too bad for her.
We have been in therapy since we began having flashbacks in 1996. We were with the same shrink until this past October. We were stuck. Had been stuck for years. The Shrink was not very concerned with what had been done to us or to our constant dissociative interruptions. Death by CBT.
All of life, we heard, is about making smart choices. Trauma work? Bad choice. It’s ovah now, nothing to do but move forward. Dissociation? Poor choice.
So. Transference issues really never came up with Shrink. She appeared to be inhuman. We would prattle on about these horrific acts done to our body mind and our soul. Nothing but silence. Stone, cold silence. No reaction of any kind. We were so afraid of her that we never thought to ask why. The message we received was that there is no horror, no good no bad no nothing. PerhAps the woman was thinking that she didn’t want to encourage us to feel badly about it. Whatever. We heard that she just really never cared.
So. It never occurred to us to get attached. We carried on, thinking of all the ways our head was screwed to be sad or angry or confused. We failed to understand why we couldn’t just choose to be one soul.
For reasons currenly unimportant, we chose this past fall to switch things up, to see a specialist in trauma and dissociation. See how we could get “past it” jiminy quick and get back to the nightmare who was, to us, our unfeeling savior but our savior nonetheless.
Hum. We saw T once and all plans of going back to the evil CBT flew out the window. The woman listened. She told us that trauma actually IS a bad thing. She explained why we couldn’t just will away the alters that were the screaming howler monkeys of our mind.
Wow. See, when somebody tells of some horrific event, T actually reacts. She tells me that yes this was bad. She talks to our alters and makes them feel better. She has put to sleep a poor little seven year old girl who Had never slept before.
T is solid. She tells us that sometimes she is sad about the things that bastard did to us but that she can handle it, tha that is her job. To sit with us and hear the shite and take care of herself All at the same time.
She does attachment therapy, T. And if has totally changed our life. After over 45 years of hiding blaming laughing blanking out self-harm splitting our mind and personality and otherwise not dealing with it, we are finally just doing that. Dealing. Beginning to feel the rage is what is coming out first.
We are able to do this because we have a place to go that we can trust. That place is with this woman. T, T, T. She knows what she is doing. The whole trust thing is such a novel concept that it gets confusing. But from the first time we talked with her face-to-face we knew. She is strong enough to take if and she cares. Finally, finally. Somebody gives a shit.
You can probably see where this is going. red, the little 5 year old, has a total crush. She keeps bringing T little presents so she doesn’t make her sad. To make her happy. Pomegranates so she doesn’t get the flu. Hah, what can one say. The kid’s only five. T says let red know that she doesn’t have to do that, that I can take care of myself that she doesn’t have to have that job. But red will persist for as long as she can. Because she doesn’t know how else to say I need you and I trust you. Mostly because it’s never happened before. Not from good people.
There are others, of course. They have varying degrees of suspicion. But in time they will be having red’s experience and then of course the shit will hit the fan.
T is asking for it and this is how:
I will never hurt you I will protect you from your uncle Norman he will never find you here. No bad people will ever hurt you here. Yes it was a horrible thing he did to you. Tha was just awful. It was not you fault it has never been your fault. Bodies just do what they do. That doesn’t mean anything good happened from it. You could not control that it just happens. No dissociation is not a choice there are many very traumatized people in you and that is REAL. Who am I talking to? Well I’m very glad to meet you I’m happy that you came to tell me this. It wasn’t your fault. Who is taking care of you? How does that work? I want for you to heal. I want for you to be happy. If it’s too hard you don’t have to tell me I will just sit with you, okay? Uh, how awful. That must have been terifying. It was terrifying, wasn’t it? I know how you feel, you know. I care about how you are feeling. Do you feel that. That physical pain right now? I know you hurt. Yes. Yes I do I know that you are hurting.
Yes, that’s what I hear. Well, she asked me not to discuss it and I will honor her privacy, just like I will honor yours. You need to get together with them so we can work this out. Can you let the adults have Their Time? Take turns? Yes I’m sure that it was scary seeing that but that is something that adults can do as long as it Makes them happy. That is not time for you. I care about you all, about all of your parts.
I want for you to stop hurting her. You are being counter-productive by re-traumatizing her when the system’s upset. Can you try that, just for three days until you’re back here. Yes you can comeback. Why do you think you can’t come back? You think I feel differently about you because you have told me that horrible thing? Well I don’t. I do not think any less of you because of what they did to you. No I don’t because you are not what has happened to you. Your essential goodness has nothing to do with those awful, awful things.
You are strong. You are brave. You are working so hard and I want you to know that as much as I know you hurt right now that this is a good thing. This is a sign of major progress that you are creating within yourself.
This is not funny. Do you know that, do you know that this isn’t funny? I notice that you do that, that you laugh alot about it. But what happened to you was totally, totally vile. Your humanity was stolen and your childhood. Your ability to trust, to bond, to feel. This. Is. Not funny. Stop hiding.
I know how much you hurt, you know. I do. I know how much you hurt and I am very, very sorry.
Do you see? Do you see now how she begs for us to get the Transference Bug? Hahahahahah.
I start this blog with the definition of compersion for those of you who are unfamiliar with the term. For those of you involved in Polyamory, no doubt you are more than aware of it.
“Compersion is said to be a non-sexual state of empathetic happiness and joy experienced when an individuals romantic partner experiences happiness and joy through an outside source, including, but not limited to, another romantic interest.”
Last week saw a very busy weekend where I was ‘booked’ for Fri with the girlfriend, Sat with the boyfriend and Sunday with a (I know it’s hard to believe) platonic friend. Fri night my husband offered to go out with a friend and Sat, he offered to sleep on the couch. As many times that I ask if he’s okay with this, he whole-heartedly assures me. I know that he experiences compersion but it is also mixed in with envy, a touch of jealousy, and aloneness. Being committed to being emotional support for him, I tell myself that booking myself solid for an entire weekend doesn’t really work. It is a very delicate balance and I always want my husband to feel completely loved and supported. Most of the time he does, which is why I have the liberty to pursue these relationships.
In a monogamous dating scenario, as the feelings grow, there is a desire to spend more and more time in the relationship. I may feel that, but I must balance that with my love and support for my family. I will not stretch my time so thin that my family starts to miss me.
Your back’s against the wall
There’s no-one home to call
You’re forgetting who you are
You can’t stop crying
It’s part not giving in
And part trusting your friends
You do it all again
And I’m not lying
The Gossip – Standing in the way of control
If your not pushed over by how powerful those lyrics are or by lead singers Beth Ditto’s voice; I think you need to shut up and take a seat. She has one of the most powerful voices I’ve heard in a long time. This song encapsulates the lost and found of adolescence. For years we’ve complained about Britney’s lack of vocal skills yet her albums continue to be number 1 on US Charts. I like everyone in the world don’t mind her record studio induced vocals at a club but I need my real kick you in the face singer twice as much.
I remember re-hearing “Standing in the way of control” on the British TV show Skins. It was used in their promotional videos, commercials, and has become the unofficial Skins theme song. I highly recommend you check out that show if you haven’t.
But back to Beth & The Gossip, Constantly charting #1 on the UK Charts and embraced in the UK Fashion & Club Scene. It shames me that such an amazing voice and well put together band can’t seem to get the mainstream recognition I know they have in UK and abroad. Is it because she’s Big? Constantly in a state of Undress? A Lesbian? or because America rather see a talentless Bi-Polar Bi-Sexual Thin Pop Singer that we can’t give the Gossip the much due respect they deserve?
Beth Ditto, a Punk Lesbian Feminist with the Incredible Voice. I’m proud to say she has also launched a Plus Size Clothing Line. She’s also spoken out about having a positive self-image. I couldn’t think of a better role model.
Beth Ditto, OYE!
The Gossip – Standing in the way of Control – Music Video
I had a lot of time in my hands these days. My roommates went home and this is the third day alone. It’s boring, but somehow it feels really good… Since I had nothing to do, all I did was thinking and studying…
I think that it’s true when people say that you have to feel the cold ground so that you could see that the way you are living isn’t the best one. I think I got it now. I seriously need change and these days I’m definitely making progress when it comes to that… I talked to her yesterday and she told me that she’s having a great time with her new boyfriend and that she’s really happy. I think this is one of the signs for me to move on, to take my life in MY OWN hands and change stuff. I have to struggle, I have to do it for myself. Since I’ve met her pretty much every step that I took it was something for her and because of her. Everything in my life was somehow connected to her, and now I realise that I was blinded by ‘love’. I stopped seeing anything that mattered to me personally. I was locked in this small box, alone, but always with her on my mind. The only thing I could see out of this box it was her and nothing else mattered to me… I don’t want to be that blind person in the box anymore. I have to get out of there and start seeing daylight and start being happy. I have to start searching for the pieces that are left and start rebuilding that house called ‘the old me’… I have to finally turn this page of this book called ‘life’… I have to start making progress at school, to feel proud of myself again and make other people proud of me again… No matter how much I hate my school, I can do it, I can make it work and I have to for the sake of my future and who I’m going to be in a few years.
Most importantly I have to try to get over her. I have to start replacing her and what matters to her with me and what matters to me. I have to stop doing all the stuff I did for her, just because this stupid fool thought that maybe one day she will fall in love with her too…
I have to learn how to open that small box and get out of it from time to time and see the world and make up all the things that I’ve been missing during these 3 years…
I know it’s going to be hard to let go of her and to leave behind all that, that I used to call ‘life’ during the last few years, but I have to close this door and open a new one so that I could walk in to a better and brighter room… I know that life has a lot more to offer than this and I have to get up and find out all the good offers that life has for me… And I guess this is what life’s about sometimes, moving on and leaving behind…!
So, I’ve come to “notice” someone. It’s horrible. I am not a “noticing” people period in my life. She’s cute and well, she makes me laugh. I need all the laughter I can get right now. She’s driven and has goals I admire (nothing better than a driven, goal-oriented, ATTRACTIVE, professional woman. There’s nothing like it.
I am in the WAY beginning phase of a ….. crush. We’ve been corresponding back and forth through a pretty random CRAIGSLIST post. Imagine that. CraigsList being a LEGITIMATE posting site. I have NEVER read the personals to CraigsList, or any other site for that matter, but boredom brings about random behavior. So, there I was, poking through the personals for good laughs and I came across a LEGITIMATE posting. I read it, laughed and then becamse super curious. “Who wrote this?”
So, what did I do? I replied. I had my doubts that any truly educated person was sitting on the opposite side of that post. I also thought “no way will this person respond back.” Within 30 minutes I replied and sent, dismissing it from my thoughts.
The next morning I check my emails. Reply from… yes, HER. I read through and the intellegence put forth in the post was there on my email. SURPRISE & JACKPOT. So, long story short we’ve been corressponding via email, text and phone. We both made it clear that friends are always welcomed (no real display of intent there on either side).
Now, here’s the issue (don’t act like you didn’t know it was coming)…….
She’s busy. Super busy. Beyond unavailable type busy. Conversation currently MINIMAL. Now, I am a busy ass person, but HELLO, when I “notice” you, I make time to give my attention (even if it is via text).
But, I’m not one to get my hopes to high. HOWEVER, so far so good. I don’t know if I am really taking “notice” of this woman, or I am just curious as hell to get to know her better…..
……..but I just want to put out notice, that I’ve noticed you, and I’m wondering if I noticed, you noticing me too.
How is it that you always have a millions things to do in ONE DAY. No matter how you try to spread things out, there is always ONE DAY in your week that if just backed with errands, deadlines, appointments or commitments? Today is that day this week. I have a million errands to run, two client appointments, random job deadlines AND I have to take my car to be serviced.
whew, wednesday.
I love busy days though. They seem to go by the fastest and I feel extremely accomplished by the end of the night. [sidebar: I'm exceedingly exhausted - if that makes any sense].
I had major plans on making moves to the city this weekend, but of course there’s a bad weather forecast. So, cross your fingers some light showers come BEFORE Saturday morning. Thanks.
In other news, I am emotionally put back together. The whole “I miss Storm” period has passed and I feel like a million bucks. I wrote it, published it, and now that it is off my chest, I feel much better.
Aside from an extense cultural offer by day and by night, Madrid has an infinite array of places to go out for drinks. Here are our suggestions:
Girls / Lesfriendly:
Fulanita de Tal. Conde Chiquena Street, 2. Chueca (Take the Green Line on the Underground, L5) Website.
La Ochenta. La Sombrerería Street, 8. Lavapiés (Take the Yellow Line on the Underground, L3) Website.
Classic Night Clubs:
Escape. Gravina Street, 13. Chueca (Take the Green Line on the Underground, L5) Website
Ohm. Callao Square, 4. Callao (Take the Green Line on the Underground, L5) Website.
Guys / Leather, Army Men, Nude and Bears:
Eagle Bar. Pelayo Street, 30. Chueca (Take the Green Line on the Underground, L5) Website.
Leather Club. Pelayo Street, 42. Chueca (Take the Green Line on the Underground, L5)
Odarko. Loreto & Chicote Street, 7. Callao (Take the Green Line on the Underground, L5) Website. Nude Night.
Bears Bar. Pelayo Street, 4. Chueca (Take the Green Line on the Underground, L5) Website.
Copper Bar. San Vivente Ferrer Srteet, 34. Tribunal (Take the Blue Line on the Underground, L1) Website. Nudist.
La Vía Láctea, another Rock'n'Roll classic at Malasaña
This guide is updated thanks to your contributions, as well. If you like, you can recommend some other bar or club. Write to us: gaynest@gmail.com.
The guys at Nighttours have a list with more suggestions. Here.
Last year in Mombasa, Kenya’s most socially conservative city, a new lesbian, gay, bisexual and transsexual (LGBT) group was formed to provide psycho-social and health support to their often repressed community. It calls itself PEMA, which means “place of solace” in kiSwahili, the national language.
From HIV/AIDS awareness to feeding programmes, PEMA is determined to gain acceptance and tolerance for Kenya’s LGBT community. Trough their monthly “gay parties,” they help the LGBT community network and, as Erica, a PEMA member, says, “let loose.” In a society where homosexuality is punishable by a jail sentence (and informally by death or stoning), PEMA is making a daring move against the status quo. “Erica” has begun speaking on the radio about her experiences as a lesbian in Kenya. She does not dare reveal her identity, however. She described returning to her office after one radio show to find coworkers talking about the audacity of speaking out on a taboo subject. However, she believes that only by telling people publicly about homosexuality can she help dismantle the many barriers her community faces.
Hatred towards the LGBT community in Kenyan has been fostered primarily by strict Christian and Muslim views of homosexuality as an abomination. There are also claim that it was introduced by Westerners and is therefore something that one adopts culturally in cities like Mombasa and Nairobi, where there is a high concentration of Westerners. Few in Kenya understand the biological complexity of homosexuality, and that is something Erica is trying to change through radio shows and PEMA. By increasing Kenyans’ exposure to LGBT individuals, she is hoping that people will realize that homosexuality is a fact of life. Furthermore, by assisting new LGBT groups in more remote areas like Kisumu and Eldoret, PEMA and the national LGBT network is hoping to educate Kenyans on the fact that homosexuality is not a foreign doctrine.
“The moment you show that the gay person on the radio could be that favorite niece of yours, people become more tolerant,” she said. During her last radio show, a man called in – among all the negative commentary – and told her that he was fine with homosexuality provided that she “respected his space” and vice-versa. She views that mild show of tolerance as a step in the right direction for Kenya’s LGBT community.
Last evening we were in a gigantic rageout. Really since Monday but it sort of…tipped ovah with the coming of the dark. We could not move so at seven o’clock we just went to bed and surfed the channels for junk food tv. Saying chants for panacea on the boob tube.
What we found was several hours of documentaries on supermassive black holes. As is common with children we firmly believe that the world revolves around our bad influences thru our very existence within it. We were enchanted.
So of course we decided that what we are is in essence a supermassive black hole. Here follow some bits of information about them that sealed the deal on our somewhat…unclear? thinking.
Supermassive holes live in the center of every galaxy. Perfect, no matter which of us is Out there we are smack dab in the centre of the chaos.
Supermassive black holes have such a huge gravitational pull that they obfuscate any light that comes their way. They just selfishly gobble it up. Well that is is for certain.
Supermassive black holes spit out 25% of the energy that exists in the Universe. Well, perfect for our system in it’s blinding rage.
Supermassive black holes have at their centre something called the Singularity. Infinitesimally small and beyond density at the same time. Wow does that ever fit!
Supermassive black holes are invisible. Well yes that is certainly true.
Nobody really knows if supermassive black holes really exist. Hah perfect!
Not even Albert Einstein could understand supermassive black holes. Since we can’t understand ourself this is yet another obvious truth.
The moral of this story about supermassive black holes is that one should never go to bed in a fury at seven o’clock at night and watch public television. Because we have this image now that is gonna be impossible to explain to T. And honestly the images of all those swirling galaxies has given us a supermassive headache.
Adam Lambert, you deserve to be up on the charts. Smile. Heart. Yes, you do. I not going to lie, not the biggest, most fanatic, American Idol fan. But, my friends kept telling me about this Adam Lambert guy. Well, if there is anyone that has been a part of that show and deserves a great career, it’s him. Personally, it’s not his personality, which seems to grab a lot of people. I could care less what he does or does not do in his personal life. His vocal range is rather impeccable. So, with the advent of his Oprah appearance and me running downstairs to catch his video on VH1, when I heard my roomies watching it in the AM…
Adam Lambert “Whataya Want From Me” (the music video)
ps-took the other post down…this one does a little more justice for me.
She sat Tuesday morning in the center row of the small downtown courtroom, a young woman with dark hair and a white bandage covering her right eye. Aside from her father and a friend, she was alone.
She was there on her own, but in a sense, thousands of people sat with her.
Lindsay Harmon was attacked outside Roxy’s, a downtown gay bar, early on New Year’s morning. She and some friends were, she said, taunted with gay slurs by a passing group of men and women. After a verbal back-and-forth, Harmon was knifed in the eye and upper arm. Suzanne-Deanna Grover, 21, was arrested last week and charged not just with assault, but with a hate crime.
I am glad that District Attorney Frank A. Sedita III decided to prosecute the case this way. If Harmon was attacked because she is a lesbian, it is an assault not just on one person, but on a way of life. That is why the story was front-page news, and not just another gruesome but fairly common attack.
Aside from anything else, the hate crime charge sends a message: Being attacked simply because you are gay will not be condoned or ignored by society. This may not seem like much to most of us. But most of us cannot—in certain places and circumstances—be legally fired from a job, denied an apartment or not have a marriage acknowledged because of our sexual orientation.
“It is an acknowledgment that this is seen as a crime against a group of people, not just a single person,” said Tim Moran, publisher of Outcome, a locally based gay online newspaper.
That is what the hate crime law is about. The punishment hammer comes down harder because you attack not just one person, but—by extension—thousands.
I know that people disagree about whether the law is justifiable or accomplishes anything. I think it is not only necessary, but healthy. A society that looks the other way is as potentially frightening as a knife to the eye. Take the “So what?” attitude to the extreme, and you are in Nazi Germany, where the state did not just condone group hate— it institutionalized it.
Granted, America today is thankfully light-years removed from 1930s Germany. I think that the hate crimes law cements the condemnation.
“We’re talking about creating a climate [whereby] this cannot be accepted in our society,” Sedita said.
Other than self-defense, I cannot think of a good reason to pummel, stab or shoot anyone. Assaulting someone because of what he or she represents gives new meaning to the term “senseless violence.” As Moran said, “Being a [gay] human being is not a reason to get beaten up.”
I give Sedita credit for sending a message about hate crime. Motive is never easy to prove, especially in a late-night confrontation outside a bar among people who have knocked back a few.
Predictably, authorities say there are a handful of different witness versions about who said what to whom. Sources say Grover contends that she acted in self-defense and that somebody in Harmon’s group uttered a racial slur. As I said, this thing could get messy.
“I thought there was sufficient evidence to charge it,” Sedita said. “Whether it passes muster with a grand jury or a trial jury will be up to them.”
Chances are that in the months between the grand jury hearing evidence and a jury rendering its verdict, the hate crime charge will be jettisoned because it does not fit or is too tough to prove. If so, fine. What I think matters is that Sedita did not reject it out of hand. That, in itself, sends a message to the gay community, from the larger society.
There were just a couple of people sitting Tuesday with Lindsay Harmon in the courtroom. In a legal sense, an army stood behind her.
If you want to get a good debate going, any time, any place, then all you have to do is utter the word bisexual, and you’re sure to get a lot of reaction. These people who claim they enjoy sex with both men and women scare the hell out of the rest of us, as a perceived threat to 99.9% of the population. Why do we care so much if a person dares to be open to sexual experiences with both genders? I’ve taken my informal poll, and here is what I’ve come up with.
Human beings are desperate to categorize everything in life, to use labels to gain understanding and feel safe in their world. I’m way ahead of you. Yes. I know that bisexuality is just another label. So why the adverse reaction to bisexuality then? To most of us, bisexuals are completely outside of our experience and world. There are so few self-proclaimed bisexuals out there, that most of us don’t really know anyone who is brave enough to say that about themself. Our fear of the unknown is probably one reason that explains why many people are afraid of bisexuals, perceiving them at some very gut level, to be “other than,” like freaks of nature.
Many arguments are bandied about in regard to sexuality. An assertion made on the popular Seinfeld Show, about the subject of bisexuality, was that bisexuality is just a stop on the way to Gaytown. There may be some truth to that. In an attempt to fit into the world at large, I can see why a person who is having a hard time “coming out” of the closet might say that they were bisexual, to test the waters, giving themself an easy retreat back to the hetero world if they get scared, or decide against “coming out” altogether.
If you’re bisexual, it stands to reason that you will be viewed as undecided, or wishy-washy. On a positive note, you may be considered quite avant garde, having evolved to a level where you relate to others on a more spiritual level, with the sex being a mere expression of your love for your beloved’s true essence. This argument does hold up logically, when you consider that few of us would say that we fall in love with a particular breast or penis, reacting sexually to body parts instead of their personality and character.
I have argued on occasion that I believe we would all be bisexual if we lived in a free-thinking, highly evolved society, devoid of stereotypes and oppressive religions, where people are taught what to think, instead of how to think. I have fallen in love with men and women. Please don’t stop reading this blog, just because I admitted to that. I identify as a lesbian. But the truth of the matter is, if I were stranded on a desert island with a handful of people after a plane crash, I could conceivably end up in the arms of a man instead of a woman. The mental connection is more important to me than the physical connection. In a big world, I prefer women, but in a smaller space, I could conceivably pick an interesting and intelligent man over a boring or unintelligent woman. I bet most lesbians would have to admit the same thing, if they were pushed into a corner on the subject.
Don’t misinterpret my last sentence. I love sex. But sex for me is about showing a person how much I love them, not worshipping what a “great body” they have, or shooting for the ultimate sexual experience. My best sexual experiences have been more about emotion, than the perfect orgasm or some interesting new position. Basically, if I love you, and feel loved by you, the sex will be great for me.
Don’t judge me for what I am about to say, but I prefer identifying as a lesbian instead of a bisexual, even given my earlier argument that we are all bisexual at some basic level. For the reasons listed above, I am not willing to be as alone or forsaken as most bisexual women I have met. Lesbians and heteros alike are scared to death of bisexuals. Being a lesbian has been challenging enough, but at least I have a group of women going through the experience with me. There is comfort in numbers. We all need a social network where we feel accepted by others. The whole “sacrificial lamb” things holds no allure for me.
One of the reasons I believe so few women can commit to bisexuality is because most lesbians I know will not date a bisexual woman. Lesbians want a committed lesbian. The idea of their beloved changing teams unexpectedly, or transmitting a disease gotten from some promiscuous male, is enough to keep most lesbians shying away from bisexual women.
With sexuality so wrapped up in life roles and family expectations, most people want some sense of what to expect from another person. If I go to a party and I’m a straight girl, should I worry about “her” around my boyfriend, or be afraid she’ll make a pass at me if I let my guard down when I’m tipsy from my third glass of wine. As stupid as that sounds to me and most other lesbians, I know from talking to straight women, that some of them are thinking this way.
I admire the Bisexuals, as brave souls, willing to defy the norm to a level that, even the most rebellious homos are afraid to confront. Bisexuals may be the most sexually honest people on the planet. The only group of people who seem more intent on rocking the boat than the bisexuals are the trangenders/transsexuals. But that’s another topic for another day.
Maybe someday our society won’t care so much about how we dress or who we love. Now that would be something. That would definitely be progress.
On Monday, the defense in the Proposition 8 court case called their first witness to the stand, but not before lawyers arguing on behalf of the plaintiffs asked Jude Vaughn Walker to view several “simulcasts” that the founders of ProtectMarriage.com paid for to aid the Yes on Proposition 8 campaign. Despite heavy protests from the defense, Judge Walker allowed the tapes to be shown.
The simulcasts were reportedly broadcast to evangelical voters ahead of the 2008 ballot. As always, full transcripts of the trial events can be found at the American Foundation for Equal Rights and live blogging transcripts (unedited and summarized) can be seen at the Courage Campaign website, but the following were just some of the statements that were played to the court:
“[If gay marriage is allowed] then pedophiles would have to be allowed to marry 6-7-8 year olds. The man from Massachusetts who petitioned to marry his horse after [same-sex] marriage was instituted in Massachusetts. He’d have to be allowed to do so. Mothers and sons, sisters and brothers, any, any combination would have to be allowed.”
A man who petitioned to marry his horse – petitioned, but never did get that marriage license, yet Massachusetts allowed gay marriage. Anyone else seeing the problem with that argument? I don’t recall the stampede of mothers trying to marry their sons, or fathers racing to marry their daughters or their livestock when gay marriage was legalized in California during the interim of marriage bans. So, no to bestiality, no to incest, no to pedophilia and no to the “slippery slope” fallacy. What have we left out? Oh right, polygamy:
“Second of all, the polygamists are waiting in the wings because if a man can marry a man and a woman can marry a woman based on the fact that you have the right to marry whoever you want to marry, then the polygamists are going to use that exact same argument and they’re probably going to win.”
And then there was the statement that no one really expected, the one where gay marriage was compared to 9/11:
“I think a helpful way to think about this is to compare it to 9/11 because a lot of us are asking: How does this directly affect us? Well I wasn’t directly affected by 9/11 and my guess is most of you weren’t either in the sense I didn’t know somebody who crashed the plane in the building. I didn’t know somebody who was in the building. But after 9/11 the world was a fundamentally different place and that has affected me. The change in the redefinition of marriage is the same type of thing.”
These simulcasts will be entered as evidence with the plaintiffs intention being that they demonstrate that Proposition 8 was motivated by anti-gay animus and that the backers of Proposition 8 traded on prejudice in order to secure victory at the ballot. For a full summary of what the six minutes of footage contained, click here.
The defense then called their first witness to the stand, Prof. Kenneth Miller, a professor at the Department of Government at Claremont McKenna College. Miller testified that LGBTs are a politically powerful class in California. From the LA Times:
“Gay and lesbian interests are well-represented, can get anything they like passed through the Legislature, raise millions and millions of dollars,” Miller said. “You just can’t with a straight face say gays and lesbians are a politically weak minority in California.”
Prof. Miller pointed to the fact that LGBTs were able to raise some $43 million to try to defeat Proposition 8, which was around $3.4 million more than the Yes on Prop. 8 team had managed, with a similar pattern being replicated in Maine during the marriage equality fight there. Miller also cited the fact that neither the Californian Governor nor the Attorney General would defend Proposition 8 when it came to the trial, and used this as evidence that LGBTs enjoy political favor.
However, cross-examination under David Boies forced Professor Kenneth Miller to put his testimony into the wider context of national politics where the landscape doesn’t look quite so rosy.
Boies cited the Defense of Marriage Act and Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell as examples of legislation that specifically targets LGBTs and discriminates against them. Although Miller would not be sold on this being directly comparable to Proposition 8, when he was asked “Is there any other minority you can identify that is discharged from the military when they are doing a perfectly good job just because somebody discovers their status?” by David Boies, Miller was forced to reply, “I’m not aware of any.” Miller then appeared to agree that both laws added up to “official discrimination.”
Professor Miller also flubbed several questions regarding early leaders of the LGBT movement, was unable to tell the court how many states currently protected LGBTs from sexual orientation discrimination, whether California had specific state protections itself, and on several occasions was not able to answer questions on whether LGBTs had more or less political power than African-Americans. This is despite the fact that a greater portion of Miller’s scholarly work has centered on examining the African-American community. You can read lawyer Shannon Minter’s analysis on why Professor Miller’s testimony seemed strangely narrow in focus by clicking here.
Millers status as an “expert” witness was therefore called into question. From Equal Rights Foundation:
On Monday, Miller admitted that he based his testimony in part on materials provided to him by the attorneys defending Prop. 8, instead of relying on his own “expert” research. Beyond that, he testified that he could not remember whether attorneys provided at least 65 percent of the materials he based his research on, totalling well over 200 documents, articles, etc.
Cross-examination will continue on Tuesday when the defense is also expected to call their second and final expert witness. If you’re thinking their witnesses are a bit thin on the ground compared to the 17 that were produced by the plaintiffs, the defense originally had many more, but, for various reasons, several of their witnesses dropped out just ahead of the trail, many of them saying that they feared retaliation from the gay community.
The witness taking the stand on Tuesday is David Blankenhorn, founder and president of the Institute for American Values, an organization that promotes “traditional” marriage.
As always, the Courage Campaign is running a live blog on the Prop. 8 trial so that you can keep track of events in the court room as they happen. You can follow it by clicking here.
The American Foundation for Equal Rights is now making available full transcripts of the trial events. You can find those here.
You can also follow the case on Twitter via the Twitter Feed of the American Foundation for Equal Rights.
Lady Gaga can be proud because she is the newest victim of the Westboro’s baptist Church aka the crazy Fred Phelps clan. Daughter Meghan made a parody of Poker Face in which she says Lady Gaygay, God hates Gaga and Gaga has a whorish face.(look it up on youtube, on Meghan Phelps lady Gaga) That coming from a girl with a face only the devil could love is pretty funny. If that church hates you that means you did something good. It is also pretty funny they call it satan’s music while to make this parody they must have listened to it millions of times.
Two Italian gays are on a hunger strike for marriage equality over there. One of them ended up in the hospital after being gay-bashed and they realized that they had no rights if one of them passed away. Back in November they walked into city halls with 23 other couples requesting to get married but were refused. The couple is streaming things live on the web. They have already lost energy to get out of the house and one of them has passed out a few times but they vow not to quit, even if it means death. Pretty brave but also a bit much. There are other ways.
The ladies of the View had a discussion about monogamy in gay relationships and according to Joy Behar the gays she knows were less bothered by infidelity than straight couples. Whoopie said the gays she knows do care about monogamy and even Elisabeth said she though gays care about that. I think it is for every individual different but Joy has a point. Definitely for gays from Joy’s generation cheating does not necessarily mean the end of a relationship. Men can separate sex and love better than women so I think it is a gay thing but only when there are 2 men involved. In a lesbian relationship it is a very different scenario. I also think for younger gay men with the possibility of marriage, civil unions and even having kids the views are more changing to a heterosexual relationship but it is still 2 men. Apparently most straight men cheat as well, they just don’t say it
One of our public elementary schools here in British Columbia has a Led Zeppelin poster hanging in the music room. This poster is called a “supplementary instructional resource,” meaning that it is not an official District-sanctioned learning resource, but it is a resource selected by the music teacher, at his discretion, to assist teaching the music learning outcomes to elementary students, as required by the curriculum.
There are a number of obvious problems with this poster apparent to those who care about children:
Jimmy Page confessed that the Led Zeppelin band was about drugs from the very beginning to the very end, at least for him. People are dead because of this drug-rock era, including performers, band managers, and countless fans. The School District states that it “supports efforts designed to prevent and intervene in substance abuse among students.” Similarly, the district and individual schools are opposed to tobacco usage. It would be ludicrous for a school to celebrate the Marlboro man by hanging a poster of him inside a classroom. This would constitute implied endorsement of tobacco usage in conflict with the school’s policy against tobacco usage. The District confesses in their policies that school teachers “may be perceived as role models for pupils.”
Said poster cannot help small children learn how to play the recorder or sing “do-re-mi.” To argue that it is an learning resource for five to twelve-year-olds is laughable.
God help us if one of our children browses the Led Zeppelin CD section in Wal-mart or HMV– they might stumble upon the oft-banned child-porn Egyptian-god-worshiping album cover.
I brought a complaint to the school about this poster, suggesting that our goal of caring for our children’s health with regards to substance abuse reasonably includes refraining from implicitly endorsing substance abuse.
The school’s “sensitive materials” committee (principal + music teacher + one parent) reviewed my complaint and concluded that the poster was harmless, and valuable enough to remain stapled to the wall.
I then brought the complaint to the School District. After several months of letters being sent back and forth, they finally informed me that they had no official policy in place to deal with these “supplemental” resources; they would only review parent-submitted complaints about the official [and less potentially controversial] materials. This pack of unbelievers have policy papers coming out their ears, except when a policy paper might actually be useful in morality, ethics, or any such demonstration of love toward any subset of human beings in our community.
So, I brought my complaint to the Provincial ministries of Education and Health, as the ‘resource’ obviously pertains to both health and education. To my delight, the current Minister of Education in BC is also a doctor who likely has some thoughts on health. My simple question to our Provincial politicians was, “How might we reasonably understand this poster hanging in the children’s music room in the context of health, the prevention of substance abuse, and educational principles?”
I also pointed out to them that the provincial School Act calls for inculcation of the “highest morality” in school conduct.1
After several months of ignoring my letters and delegating the matter to other ministries and other MLAs, the province eventually got back to me with a letter confessing their neglect in reviewing the complaint, justifying this recklessness by referring to the very same brainless pieces of policy papers that the District had attempted to placate me with.
Now the matter is sitting on the desk of the Prime Minister of our nation. It is such a difficult one to deal with, it needed to come to this. Where is a wise man when we need one?
We understand that “the darkness has not understood” the light. (John 1:5; NIV.) I am realizing that the more immersed we are in the light, the more difficulty we have understanding the darkness. What a strange planet this is.
—
Footnote:
1. When this sentence about inculcating the highest morality [BC School Act; Section 76] was originally formulated in Ontario prior to being compromised by conspicuous modification, “highest morality” referred explicitly to the Bible. I’m curious about how many people in Canada have any clue as to where to even find “morality,” much less where to find it in its “highest form,” and then to actually take a stand for it. Canadians stand for such maniacal nonsense as the official “Gay Welcoming Whistler” for our 2010 Olympics. Hey, we’re all sinners, but do we really need official celebrations of certain variations of sin? Why do we not have a “Fornicators-and-Adulterers-Club Whistler Welcoming,” a “Teenagers-who-Do-Not-Keep-Their-Pants-On-and-Prefer-Abortion Welcoming,” or a “Shack-up-and-Ruin-a-Family-Society Welcoming” for the Olympics? My children do not really need to be exposed to a warm welcome from a particular ‘proud’ sexual group. In those ridiculous “old-fashioned” days, kids did not even learn about sex until they were teenagers. Now those parents who have some concern about strangers teaching sexuality to their children must preempt the school system to teach their six-year-olds about “homosexuality.” The so-called ’secular’ fools of our nation are working overtime to get various messages of sexual immorality to the kids in case, of course, they have that universal human tendency to be sexually immoral and require a whole lot of extra help in a culture that is so discriminatory against the perverse! Apparently, the universal strategy is to teach kids to be proud of their sin. Guess what, gays, you do not have a monopoly on sin or perversion– you are really not that special. We all need to be saved from the wretches we are.
We would really rather not be talking about sex with our tiny children, but we accept that compared to many Canadian parents, we are the strange ones– we read that big fairytale Bible that is the world’s most influential book, written across 1500 years by 40 authors, all witnessing to that One who remains the unchanging living witness in our hearts today. We would love to show unconditional love to our fellow sinners, while yet not compromising the truth or neglecting to show the kind of love that comes in the form of admonishment; meanwhile, our nation is ushering in Islam and Shariah law, which will see to it that the sexually immoral are beaten, whipped, and/or executed; they prefer not to defer wrath and punishment to their Allah-god. But Canadians do not talk about Islam, because it helps them believe that the infection really is not happening. Satan has told us that we create our own realities by dreams and wishes invented in our [deceitfully wicked] hearts. We generally appreciate that lie, because we would rather do anything than submit to the God we hate. Even feminists, of all people, find some benefit in collaborating with the preachers and victims of Islam. If they can work together at some attempt to take a swipe at Jesus Christ, they can always stab each other in the back later.
There is a problem here for the enemies of the King of kings: His kingdom is not of this world; therefore, policy/legal swipes at Christians do not touch His kingdom. Even Satan is not so stupid as to plot that kind of failing tactic. When you say that the age of Christianity is over, you will discover that it is just beginning. If this pathetic militant world has not even managed to get rid of those pesky Jews who always want their nation, how much more will it dramatically fail in attempts to stomp out Jesus Christ. He is not going away. When all is gone, He alone will remain.
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From the Buffalo News
Found on Care 2 Make a Difference