Getting a lesbian “in the mood” is essential if you want to enjoy some quality time together between the sheets. I wish I had some words of wisdom that worked for everyone, about how to accomplish this all important task . Unfortunately, all I can offer up is what works for me currently, and what has worked in the past with other women on other days. And no, I am not some sort of self-proclaimed expert. I’m simply an enthusiastic student who loves to spend Sunday afternoon in bed, and any other afternoon that I can manage, when we can both lounge away the day, horizontal and removed from “to do” lists and work.
Early on in this relationship it became apparent that we had great difficulty watching a movie together, particularly if we tried to watch from bed. Because of this, I have watched parts of many movies and can’t tell you how any of them ended. We laugh about it now. When I want to have sex, all I have to do is suggest we watch a movie upstairs. Our bedroom is a sanctuary of sorts, away from the four dogs, the kitchen and all other diversions.
The reason I think watching a movie works for us is because, as we start watching the movie, we get relaxed. There are no expectations. We hold each other, which leads to sweet, tender kissing….and you know the rest. Sometimes we actually watch the movie from beginning to end, but not often. I believe this technique works because there are no expectations, just possibilities. Neither of us feels forced to do anything we don’t feel like doing. Half the battle seems to be getting in the mood. And lounging in her arms in a cozy bed does it for me every time.
I know couples who have date nights or prearranged times they set aside for sex. When I tried this, it felt like an appointment to have sex. Maybe it’s the thought of having an appointment, or maybe it was the chemistry I had with my partner ath the time, but that never worked for me. It seemed too contrived. Having sex on a schedule feels too much like work.
Having sex with someone you love shouldn’t be hard. If it is too hard, then there may be other reasons you’re struggling with showing her you care. Harboring resentments or struggling with stressful life challenges can make it hard to focus on enjoying sex. If you can’t relax enough to cuddle and spend a few minutes kissing her or giving her a massage, then you’ll never have the time to seduce her. And yes, even couples who live together, still need to seduce one another if they plan on having any fun.
Seduction is different for everyone. For me, if you smell good and know how to massage my neck and shoulders, then you’re home free. Find your own secrets to seduction, taking notice of what worked in the past. How do you get relaxed enough to let go of your cares and worries. How do you have to touch her to get her motor running.
Only you know the answers about your partner. And if you don’t, it’s time you figured it out. The secret is in her eyes, the way she moves and her breathing. Just like you can tell when she’s finally fallen off to sleep at night because her breathing changes, you should also be able to read her body to know when she’s aroused or interested, and how she got there.
Here are some words that should work for everyone. Slow down. Be quiet. Find a safe place to cuddle, away from all annoying distractions and problems. Then look into her eyes and kiss her slowly and carefully, remembering the first time you kissed her.
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