I start this blog with the definition of compersion for those of you who are unfamiliar with the term. For those of you involved in Polyamory, no doubt you are more than aware of it.
“Compersion is said to be a non-sexual state of empathetic happiness and joy experienced when an individuals romantic partner experiences happiness and joy through an outside source, including, but not limited to, another romantic interest.”
Last week saw a very busy weekend where I was ‘booked’ for Fri with the girlfriend, Sat with the boyfriend and Sunday with a (I know it’s hard to believe) platonic friend. Fri night my husband offered to go out with a friend and Sat, he offered to sleep on the couch. As many times that I ask if he’s okay with this, he whole-heartedly assures me. I know that he experiences compersion but it is also mixed in with envy, a touch of jealousy, and aloneness. Being committed to being emotional support for him, I tell myself that booking myself solid for an entire weekend doesn’t really work. It is a very delicate balance and I always want my husband to feel completely loved and supported. Most of the time he does, which is why I have the liberty to pursue these relationships.
In a monogamous dating scenario, as the feelings grow, there is a desire to spend more and more time in the relationship. I may feel that, but I must balance that with my love and support for my family. I will not stretch my time so thin that my family starts to miss me.
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