Turning the Titanic, or something like that

For the past two months I have spent virtually all my free time studying what different theologians and respected leaders have to say about homosexuality. I have been studying the Bible, both the passages generally used in arguments against homosexuality and also trying to see the big picture to make sure I’m not distorting anything. And over time my view is changing.

I’m starting to see how it is possible to be gay and Christian but not embrace a homosexual relationship. I’m starting to find that God is showing me that more than that it is okay to have a relationship. If you have been reading any of this at all or have just started and read some older posts you will find this is totally different from where I started. Two months ago I truly felt that if it was okay to be gay then it would also have to be okay to have a homosexual sexual relationship. Now I don’t know. Why is nothing simple?

I have one big problem with this, and I am now trying to figure out if it is something that I have learned over the years that isn’t necessarily Bible based or if it is biblical. And it is that I have been taught that God will not give you a desire for something you cannot have. I have a desire for intimacy with another woman- and not just emotional or social or whatever, but physical. I also have a desire for a family- I want to have kids, I want to have a partner, and these things are deep seeded desires. I know that these are not wrong desires, and to know that these go as deep as my desire for a female partner says to me they aren’t going to just go away (after 10 years my desire for women has increased, not decreased). So, if I am called to a life of celibacy, why has God placed these other desires so strongly in me? I know things aren’t meant to be easy, and that the road we follow when following Christ is never as straight and obvious as we would like. But how can I reconcile good desires with a lifetime of being alone? And is this really what God is asking me to do? If it is I wonder if God really doesn’t give us more than we can handle, because it seems like too much.

[Via http://heterodoxalxn.wordpress.com]