Loving a woman is not really as complicated as we make it out to be, once we understand the heart of that woman and what she cares about. Squash her dreams and you might as well drive a stake through her heart. It’s the dreams that gives us the hope we need to continue on, excited about life, looking towards the future. Age has nothing to do with it. If you’re 70, and excited about the new garden you’re planning this spring, planning it out in your mind as the cold weather bears down on you, then it’s your dream of that garden that gets you through the winter.
Dreams are personal. That’s the good news and perhaps the reason it is hard to be supportive of your girlfriend’s dreams at times. Since you aren’t wrapped up in her dream emotionally, you are probably picking it apart, playing “debby downer.” You see ALL the reasons her dream makes no sense. Oftentimes, the bigger the dream, the harder it is for us to imagine it coming true. That’s why so many of us give up on the dream, and why so many of us are quick to shoot holes in our girlfriend’s dream. SHAME ON YOU if you go there.
Believe me, you will pay for your lack of support and enthusiasm for your partner’s dream. Even if she allows you to convince her that she is being unrealistic, she will always remember that you were the one who took her dream away. She will remember it when she makes love to you. She will remember it when you share your dreams with her. She will remember it always. And you will never forget the sad look on her face, the day she finally gave up on what mattered to her most, and that vacant look will haunt you.
When you think about it, it is hope that keeps us all going, dealing with the mundane stuff of life. We all long to be creative, to impact our environment. Whether we are seeking a medical cure for cancer, building a business, designing a lakeside retreat or writing a novel, we all pour our energy and the best of us into a project we embrace. To dream is to be truly alive.
So whatever your partner’s dream, jump on board, no matter how crazy it sounds to you. If she’s 56 yrs. old and says she plans on competing in the summer Olympics against the twenty-something swimmers, swallow your rational voice and carry her towel for her. She is the only one who should ever give up on her dream. For your sake and hers, don’t you dare be the one to set her straight. Stranger things have happened. And it’s the dreamers who change the world, not the naysayers. It takes guts to chase your dream. If nothing else, you have to admire her for that.
Remember that she is the woman you love and that what you say about her dreams says everything about how much you love her. So keep your opinions to yourself and be her biggest cheerleader. If she is lucky and reaches her goal, then she’ll thank you and cherish you for the support you gave her when others told her she couldn’t do it. And if she finally gives up herself, and you are the one there for her, arms outstretched to hold her as she mourns, then she will see you as the person who helped her feel better and picked her up when she was down. Either way, that’s what you’ll do if you truly love her, realizing what’s at stake.
P romise, I’ll stop preaching now. Just wanted to share this with you as I have been stupid at times, and played the fool once myself recently, daring to be rational instead of supportive. Someone please stop me next time I try to be the voice of reason. I’m really not that good at it. Besides, I’ve had many people try and step on my dreams. And I try and stay away from them as much as possible these days. I’m looking for other dreamers to share my life with.
No comments:
Post a Comment