“I’m gay: BBC newsreader Jane Hill comes out” oozed the Mail.”BBC newsreader Jane Hill outs herself as gay” screamed the Mirror. “BBC NEWSREADER JANE HILL HAS REVEALED SHE’S A LESBIAN” slimed the Daily Star. Sounds like Jane had a massive coming out party. From those headlines, one would suspect that Jane had jumped onto the desk during one of her news bulletins waving her arms about and singing along to Diana Ross’ I’m Coming Out.
Except she didn’t. All Jane did was mention in passing in the BBC in-house magazine that she lived with her partner Sara and her dog Mavis. Now if Jane Hill was Jim Hill that quote would have passed without comment, but because Jane is a woman who lives with another woman, it’s enough for tabloids to get themselves worked up about into a lather.
I can sympathise with Jane, because that’s the thing about coming out – no matter how off-the-cuff or casual your remark about your date or domestic arrangements are, there’s always someone who wants to make it a big deal and the hottest gossip all morning. Of course, your first coming out is absolutely nerve-wracking, the ones to parents or close family members are monumental, the one to your cat even worse. But then something happens – coming out doesn’t stop and becomes a crushing bore.
A few years ago, during after work drinks with colleagues from my new job, I mentioned I was going on a date with someone called Simon (I think that was his name). Well next day blow me down if it wasn’t all round the office that “Marcus came out in the pub in front of all of Customer Services!” Umm, no I didn’t. I just mentioned I was going on a date.
And so it carries on. Mention my husband during a business meeting with people I haven’t met before and there’s always a few quizzical looks or silences as you see the cogs of the brains of certain members of your audience slowly putting two and two together and coming up with “GAY!!!!!!!!!”
Now I know it’s really hard to tell who’s gay and who isn’t these days with all the straight camp metrosexuals and butch gay men about, but you’d think people wouldn’t be so surprised to meet a gay person. No wonder lots of gay people use non-gender specific terms such as “partner” – it’s not gay shame, it’s gay boredom.
So that’s the deathly dull thing about coming out – unless you meet stereotypical expectations of how a gay person looks or acts, it never seems to stop. Funny how gays used to be criticised for making such a song and dance of it. We don’t need to bother now, straight people do it for us. I guess that’s progress of sorts.
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