I guess if I should promise an update I should actually follow through on it hm? Well, better late than never…
The Break-Up
Everyone should know that Stephanie and I did in-fact get back together. It was an awkward beginning to something I should have never gotten into. I didn’t see her as more than a girl to date. I know how it sounds (Wow Katie, you really are an asshole), but please let me explain.
I made every effort to make whatever we had work, no matter how many tries there were (which was 3). The first two times she pushed me father and father away into this desolate desert where I scorched myself from trying to stick it out in every situation she put me in. Fell off a horse–I drove 3 hours to her grandfather’s ranch to sit another 2 hours in the E.R. Family problems at 4 am–I always answered the phone to listen and let her vent. She wanted to meet my family–I paid for her greyhound to come visit my brother and sister-in-law. She talked about a future together. She talked about living together, getting a cat (or some kind of pet) together,and just more adult things I’m just not ready to experience. To be honest, it’s not that I’m afraid to experience any of those things, but I’m only in my second year of college! By my rate of nerdiness (I’ve already started my junior year this semester), I’ll graduate just a tad bit earlier. I want to soak in all the college life I can! If that means dating around or being single most of the time, then so be it! I’m perfectly happy spending times with friends and having THEM be my Valentine’s or Secret Santa or whatever the holiday may “require”. I’m sure without a shadow of a doubt they are better than any passer-by girlfriend I may have at the moment.
So anyway, that’s my reasoning for why I broke up with Stephanie. When I broke it down to her, she got really dramatic saying things such as, “I broke down all my walls for you! I did all this just for YOU!” I took the blame because it was easier for her to accept that I’m just a perpetual asshole than turning around to say, “I don’t want a long term commitment with YOU”. I figured it was the better of two evils…
The Cougar
Last year I made it a task to get new jeans that actually fit. For the past few months (at the time) I’d worn guy jeans, and they were not flattering at all. My friends kindly let me know of this at all times too, haha. So, I made it my mission to find girl jeans that were my style. I first hit up American Eagle and found one pair, and I decided to purchase them for safe keeping. I figured finding pairs of jeans my style AND size were going to be rare to find. I went to a few different stores and hit jackpot at Express. They had a sale and JUST the jeans I had been hunting. Knowing I went over budget, I had to cough over the AE jeans I initially bought. The cashier needed a manager’s over-ride and there came Cougar.
From that moment forward we’ve just had immense chemistry. There’s always been a feeling that we could be something, but we find the age barrier to be something more than a kiddie fence. It’s more like the Great Wall of China–doesn’t really have a purpose anymore, but yet still keeps people in awe when they first look at it. I’m sure if this was really going to work out, we’d look past both of our ages and go for it. But we’re nervous. I find that she’s always bringing up my age in a fashion where I can’t justify her taking that risk other than the cliche, “Age ain’t nothin’ but a number!” or my favorite, “Yeah, but I’m cute! Just look at my dimples!” or “Least you won’t have to worry about a DD for a while.” All 3 responses get me a cute little laugh and a smile to finish, but at the same time I don’t think it’ll actually go anywhere. It doesn’t effect me though. Least there’s always someone to flirt-text.
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