After some interesting comments last week and thinking long and hard about it this weekend I think I need to get down to the real nitty gritty with you all on my position when it coms to Body/Fat Acceptance, Health At Every Size or HAES as well as what I do in my life and my personal experiences.
I want to start off by saying that just because I believe in body acceptance and the idea that one can be fat and fabulous I think its also important for people to be healthy at whatever size they may be. Just because I am happy with my plus sized figure and I don’t think anyone should be ashamed of their body this doesnt mean I sit around eating bon bons all day, thats just not me. I full heartedly believe that you can be healthy at 150lbs or 300lbs or what have you,and that its all about diversity when it comes to body types, and that is how i feel. I will admit that I am not at my most healthy at this given moment but it is something that I am working on, and weight for me is not a factor in that work toward better personal health, but i will also admit that I am not only physically at better health then people may assume by looking at me but I am also at a much better state of mental health then i feel most women around my age are at due to the fact that I accept my body, and am unapologetically living my life to the happiest and fullest at whatever size I may be at without letting the media, and the ideals of the perfect weight, the ideal diet, reccommended amounts, body mass indexes and all the self hate and pressure that goes along with it raining on my parade.
At this current time I am weighing on any given day of the week (a woman’s weight can fluctuate as much as 10lbs from day to day based on calorie intake, digestive regulation, and even due to happiness and depression) between 263 and 270lbs. I do still choose to weigh from time to time simply for research purposes to share here as I am not ashamed of a number. Currently I am practicing intuitive eating, this includes fruits and vegetables involved in each meal, as well as not depriving myself when I crave something that may be considered a “bad” food (eating it in moderation rather then gorging myself after deprivation like i did in the past while dieting )activity for enjoyment (i am currently working on couch25k for no other reason then the passion to become a runner), and replacing caffinated beverages with water. This is not a diet, and does not feel like one, especially because i do not feel deprived, do not let rule my life, do not find any reason to beat myself up for not adhearing to certain standards or reaching a certain goal weight and and is something that I am doing for other reasons then to lose weight. Eating balanced meals with fruits and veggies is not only something that I consider yummy but is also helping my digestive track, and replacing caffine with water is clearing up my skin, and is making my periods less painful. The activity of couch25k is helping me to reach a goal I have always had to become a runner and to enjoy running as I consider it something almost spiritual. Bottom line is I don’t care how my body is shaped by these choices I really care about how I feel and how my body holds up in the long run. I feel it is important to share with you what I am doing to combat the myths that fat people are lazy, don’t eat well, don’t exercise and therefore can not possibly be healthy since I do and I am. As I mentioned in my post last week I have a clean bill of health as well as a healthy happy self image and i think thats what really counts not the dress size I wear, the number on the scale,or the circumference of my waist.
Some readers believe that I am negative about thin people, or people that choose to diet. That is not the case either. Thin is just another diverse body type and while I am part of the Fat Acceptance movement I firmly believe in body acceptance in general every body type included. I do not however support crash dieting, eating disorders, use of steriods or drugs to change body type and anything else extreme or dangerous (hence my problem with Biggest Loser). Some of you may argue that being over what the body mass index feels is my idea weight is dangerous and you are intitled to your own opinion but post it on your own fucking blog. That being said, i do not have a problem with dieters but its just not for me. As a past yo-yo dieter I can understand the need to change ones body under the misconception that it is the key to happiness, I can understand that some people feel the need to regulate, push themselves and feed into the hype that thin is in and there is no other way to be. If you are a dieter, and exercisers, a body scultper or what have you that is fine it is your perogative. I however have experienced how difficult a diet, or hell even “lifestyle change” can be to maintain and how quickly the weight can come back, and how dangerous this can be to ones mental state. I find it extremely troubling that people can’t love themselves no matter what the scale says, or what society deems their body type to be. Call me a Pollyanna but i believe that it is truly what is on the inside the counts and also that no one else can love us until we love ourselves which is what has brought me to a Health At Every Size, Body Acceptance belief. Now since I am not one to sit around and let the world judge me for being myself I preach fat acceptance, put myself out there and hope to change the world, settle the myths and challenge the misconceptions and that is what I do here at this blog and as I always say I if you don’t like it don’t read it. I will continue to do what I do and talk about fat fashion, self esteem, loving yourself not matter what your size, living a happy life, being a femme, being a lesbian, being unapologetically everything that I am and beating down those who try to make me and people like me feel anything less then we are. If you comment with negativity it will not be posted. I will read it because I am strong enough to take it, but i am not going to let it hurt any of my readers who are learning body acceptance at this time. That is my comment policy and your scare tactics, and baiting is not going to change it. Something I’ve always known… opinions are like assholes and everybodys got one.
I am fat and healthy and proud and fabulous and a million other things. Happiness is of the upmost importance to me always has been always will be.
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