I can be very critical of others,its one of my worst qualities and something I am definitly not proud of. I try not to do it but I almost think it is something that is ingrained in us from birth and is a hard habbit to break. We comment on eachothers looks, personalities, talents, flaws, everything. Sometimes its just in our own heads and other times its right out loud. Since we all spend so much time picking eachother apart no wonder we assume everyone is judging us for everything that we are every second of the day.
When I watch TV I am my most critical, this became apparent last night as I was watching America Idol, now i know the whole point of the first week is horrible auditions but I found myself judging those people, criticising them, making assumptions about their worth and basically was a big douchebag. This morning as almost a Karmic payback for my bitchery I was incredibly insecure (which we all know is not my typical nature) and was being very critical of myself. Hmmm could this have anything to do with my actions last night? I think so.
The more we criticize and judge others the worse or our self images can get. If I’m being a critical snatch then I start to believe that everyone else is judging me just as harshly and thats fucked up. I imagine this may be one of the key problems in the world. We are brought up by society to be inhibited and self concious and feel that we shouldn’t leave the house without makeup on, or that if we wear a bathing suit in public and aren’t a size 2 that we will be made fun of and judged for every curve of our bodies, that we shouldn’t sing if its offkey, that we shouldn’t exercise if we don’t look like we belong in a gym, and so on. We blame our self hate on other people but really isnt it our own fault for knowing people are mean because we can be mean ourselves?
Ofcourse some people are judging us but for the most part I think that everyone is so busy worrying about how they themselves are being judged that really no one is paying attention to anyone else so what are we so worried about? Oh yeah our critical nature has taught us that people will pick us apart, well shit, thats a fucking vicious cycle! So how the hell do we fix this? Well i think its definitly not something that can be solved overnight, i think it takes us changing our perception of other people and in turn our perception of ourselves. Criticising other people and criticising ourselves go hand in hand so I’m thinking what we have to do is kill them both at the same time. The first step is to stop judging ourselves, to love ourselves the way we are, see our flaws as fantastic parts that make us, us and at the same time love other people for what they are as well. Ok i’m getting a little Pollyanna again but I think that this really could make a difference. If I am thinking super positively about myself I tend to see more good things in other people too. My perception of others is really a reflection of how I feel about myself. Wow this is totally turning into my rambling but oh well what are blogs for right?
Today I am not going to judge myself or other people and see if I can change the way I feel about life in general. Anyone with me?
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